An example of why attachment parenting is the right choice
for me
From day one, I’ve never left S
to cry. She cries so rarely, in fact, that if she does shed a tear I know
something must be really wrong. I
hold and cuddle her as much as I can. I prefer the sling to the pushchair, and
I talk to her all day, every day, about everything. In the evenings I feed her
to sleep and she shares my bed. I think it will be a long while before I stop
breastfeeding her.
From previous posts on here, I
know this is far from “weird” behaviour, and a lot of my friends have a similar
approach to parenting, which is refreshing and generally good to know.
This weekend, I took S to a
charity sale in the local community centre where my mother lives. The place was
filled with aunts, cousins, extended family and friends, people I hadn’t seen
for a long time and many S had never met (all lovely, though). I handed S over
to the first person we saw as we came in the door, and barely held her again
until we left, more than 3 hours later. During that time she made friends with
everyone and was passed from person to person without a complaint. In fact, the
only times she made a noise were when she was bored of her current surroundings
and wanted to be moved about a bit. She sat on one young girl’s lap for over
half an hour, happily playing with her feet and smiling up at her – I think the
girl in question is a distant cousin, but I’d not seen her for about five
years. S didn’t care though; she had a friendly face and wanted to hold her, and
that was good enough for my little bundle.
People seemed surprised that S
was so sociable, and happy to be passed between people she didn’t know terribly
well, or had never met before. I wasn’t, though. She had been brought there by
me, and she has a secure bond with me. She felt safe because I was nearby, and
was clearly not stressed or concerned at her being passed around different
people. She did cry once, and it was a proper meltdown; but that was because
she was hungry and I’d left it a little late to organise her lunch. Once she’d
been fed she was fine.
There is an argument that if you
hold your baby too much, always pick your baby up when she cries, never put her
down, she will become clingy and needy and never want to leave your side. The
counter to this argument is that by holding your baby as much as possible, you
create a good attachment between you, so your baby feels safe and secure enough
to go out into the world and explore things on her own. For me, this weekend
ended that argument for me. S’s behaviour was a clear sign that I am doing the
right thing by spending so much time holding her. Plus, I have killer biceps
now, and my shoulders look fairly awesome too!
Thanks for reading! If you've enjoyed this post please share it with your friends using the buttons below.
Thanks for reading! If you've enjoyed this post please share it with your friends using the buttons below.
Aw this is lovely. My son is 2 nearly and were incredibly close. People say I need to 'reject' him more (how awful!) but I like him close. I joke that he's my limpet but he is the same really in social situations. If I'm there he's cool with everything else!x
ReplyDelete