Day 15 is: I'm Thankful For...
Oh, this one is easy! I'm thankful for this:
I have never been a "happy" person. In fact, you could say I was fairly miserable and negative for the first 30 years of my life. I had a nervous breakdown; I nearly killed myself. I had no idea who I was, who I wanted to be, what I wanted to do. I got into an awful, destructive, abusive relationship. I got pregnant. I had no idea what I was going to do. I felt like I was drowning.
And then S was born. And slowly, over the space of a few months, my life clicked into place. I know who I am now, I know what I'm doing, what I want to do, who I want to be. I have no money, my house is a mess, I'm never on top of anything. But I'm happy. So happy.
So many times through the course of my pregnancy I thought I would lose her. My labour was 10 hours of worry that she wouldn't make it. Then she was so tiny, so small, and I was so unsure of what I should do. I thought they'd take her away from me. I honestly believed I didn't deserve to be her mother, and that she would be taken. But she wasn't. And I am so unbelievably thankful for that. For her.
They say everything happens for a reason, that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and so many other cliches... Turns out they're all true.
I'm sorry things weren't too good before but the positive impact that your bubs has had on your life is lovely. I really do think our children save us sometime xx
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