Thinking as I have been lately, about clutter-clearing, and how one's living space can reflect their state of mind, I was reminded of a man I used to go out with.
He was lovely, but he had more than his fair share of issues.
|I can't post a photo of the two of us; that would be mean. |
Here is a picture of me. In my messy living room.
At the time, I was not free of issues myself, and my house was a mess. I would often begin tidying, and start putting things into piles. Although my living room looked a mess to the untrained eye, I knew exactly where everything was. Those two piles of newspapers and magazine might look the same to you, but I've read the ones in this pile, and those in that pile are waiting to be read.
The man, let's call him John, because that wasn't his name, didn't like this. He liked to have everything cleared away. He would move the piles of papers into one massive pile, and slide it behind the sofa. He would even go so far as to move the waste paper basket in my living room so that it was out of sight.
When it came to washing up, I have always been the type of person who leaves it until it reaches a critical mass, and then has a massive clean-up. John, not so. He would wash up even if there were only 3 things to wash. He wouldn't leave them on the drainer to dry as I was happy to either; he had to put them away. The problem was, he didn't really pay attention to ensuring things were cleaned properly; he seemed to just dunk them in the water, put them on the drainer, remove a little more dirt with a tea towel and then put everything away.
I knew my house was messy, but it was my house. I lived there alone. When John came round, there was space for him to sit down, put his things down, space for him to sleep in the bed, clean cups and plates for him to eat off. But he could not stand the organised chaos I called home. He would come in and immediately start hiding away the mess so as to leave a seemingly clear space. While I preferred (and still do prefer) to wait until I can do a job properly and ensure everything is sorted out properly, all issues resolved, before putting things away, John was the polar opposite. He didn't care how it went away, whether it was still half undone or still dirty, so long as it was out of sight.
I think we both dealt with our issues in the same way. I would keep everything floating about until I could process it and "put it away;" he preferred to just stop talking about a problem whether the issue was resolved or not. It was almost like he had a ten-minute time limit on all disagreements, and then we had to stop discussing it and sit in uncomfortable silence.
I'm still a very messy person; my house always looks like a bomb has hit it. I could blame it on having a toddler in the house, but that's not fair on S since I know I'd probably be worse if she weren't here. But I also still don't like to hide things away until I've dealt with them... which is what I'm doing at the moment. Bear with me; I'm likely to write a fair few more of these rather odd posts!