As some of you may know, I've recently become self employed.
One of my clients is Anandi, otherwise known as the Sleep Guru. She helps people to overcome insomnia and sleep problems with holistic solutions - no sleeping pills! If you ever have trouble sleeping, I'd check out her site purely for the free download you can get.
Any way, the point of this post... As well as giving advice regarding sleep disturbances, Anandi often does workshops in London, and has just started offering an online course in primordial sound meditation.
I've tried meditation loads before. When I was 18 I had a boyfriend whose father lived in Glastonbury. We used to visit him a lot and he and his friends used to talk about meditation. I would often try it... for approximately two minutes, if that. Then I would think about my to-do list, or my History coursework, or what I was going to have for tea, and think "I'm rubbish at this meditation lark!" and give up.
To me, meditation always meant "quiet the mind" - as in, don't think about your to-do list or your history coursework or your tea. I always felt like a bit of a failure and wished I could do it.
Well now, I'm starting Anandi's online course. This is a program by Deepak Chopra and presented by Anandi. I think it will be interesting to see if I can actually "meditate" this time as opposed to just spend a couple of minutes sitting uncomfortably and giving up.
I feel like I need to find a way to focus my thoughts. I waste so much time just flitting between things, forgetting what I was doing, losing focus - like a weird form of ADHD. I am sure it's because I have no mental discipline. It often takes me hours to finish writing blog posts, as I flit between the blog, Facebook, Twitter, my email, my mobile, putting a load of washing on, making that phone call I forgot last week, back to the emails, checking my bank account online, Facebook again, Twitter, oops I forgot about the bank and now it's logged me out... I often look up and realise an hour has passed and I have achieved nothing of any note. I'm hoping meditation will help me with that side of things.
I'm also hoping it will help me with my general stress levels, which are (predictably) higher now that I'm self employed. And my sleeping, which is most probably linked to that. On the nights when S sleeps through, I'm often to be found wide awake at 4am wondering why I can't sleep, furiously making lists in my head of all the things I need to do, all the ideas I have, all the people I need to speak to.
So watch this space... hopefully I will become less sketchy as the weeks progress and I continue with my meditation.