I wrote a post a while back about how everyone's definition of success is different.
For some, it's the fancy pants job with the corner office and the latest new car. For others it's opting out of society entirely.
For me... I'm still not sure exactly what it is.
Parenting-wise, I think I actually consider myself to be fairly successful at the moment. Several things have happened lately that have made me feel really proud of S; silly little things like sharing her food with me, without my asking, or saying thank you without being prompted. Or the bigger things, like moving rooms in nursery and being completely un-phased by it, or sleeping through her first night away from me & not having a massive midnight panic. Things like this make me think, yeah, I'm doing a pretty good job with this at the moment; things are good. That's not to say I know how I've achieved these things, or how I can replicate them in months or years to come, but right now I'm really very proud of my daughter.
Personally, things are up and down. The weeks leading up to Brit Mums Live were a massive panic of trying to get everything done before I left. I only had one day off work - and even then I was checking my emails at the hotel - but still, I was super paranoid about making sure I didn't let any clients down. I promised myself a million times that things would be less chaotic "after Brit Mums..."
I also promised myself that once I got back, I would do some serious self-development work and try to sort myself out. I have some fantastic clients, and I love the work I do - but I still have points in the month where there's no money in the bank, and that bothers me. It's ok if I know I have this invoice outstanding, or I need to send an invoice for this, but sometimes I have neither of these things, and I'm left panicking about what S and I will live off for the next week or so.
I am frankly tired of being in this position, and I know I need to do something to change that. Before I can do that though, I really need to figure out exactly what it is I'm aiming for here!
Several times over the last few months, and especially at Brit Mums Live, I've heard people extolling the virtues of a business plan. You need to have a business plan; you must make a business plan. I don't have a business plan, and I find it hard to put what I do into that sort of framework. Nevertheless, I need to just sit down, get my head down and get on with it.
I know that I need to make a proper plan, name a goal and then break that down into smaller goals. I need to have something concrete to aim at because I've been coasting along now for a few months, and I'm making very little headway.
So this is where you come in, dear fabulous readers. If you are self employed, in whatever guise, and you can offer any sort of wisdom, guidance or support, please do! You can leave a comment here, email me, Facebook me, Tweet me, send a carrier pigeon. I would genuinely love to hear from you on this!