Lee Evans at the O2

I used to love going to see comedy shows. Back what I was young, free and single (disposable income, no need of a baby sitter, lots of friends to go to comedy shows with), I used to attend them quite regularly.

Most of the comedy shows I have seen have been local events though, and I'm sad to say I've never been to the O2.

Although there is a lot to be said for the intimate setting of what Jimmy Carr once referred to as a "village hall" (my local venue for most shows), I should imagine a show at the O2 would be worth the effort of getting there. Especially to see someone like Lee Evans, who is an amazingly talented comedian.

Here are some of my favourite Lee Evans lines:

• Have you noticed ever time there's a murderer on the loose, they have that advert pop up from B&Q - "this week, hatchets, half price!"

• I love restaurants, and that's the thing now, they always boast about now, restaurants - home made cooking - I don't want home made cooking, that's why I'm here, 'cos I don't like the shit at home! Yeah... you know! And they don't say whose home it is, do they! Could be a mental home, couldn't it!

• I tried water polo and my horse drowned... that was a nightmare!

• People tell me, Lee, you should take up golf. You know what I say to that? F*** off!

• This bloke, I swear he's in any supermarket car park. He's great. He walks across the car park, and he's got one of those fobs, and he opens his car before he gets there. [posh voice] "ha, ha, ha! I don' know if you saw what I just did there, but I actually opened my car door before I actually physically got there!"

• I like it when the waiter asks you if you want Parmesan cheese on your dinner. Yeah, give me essence of puke all over me tea!

So yeah, if anyone wants to buy me tickets to see Lee Evans at the O2, pay for travel, perhaps a hotel, and get a fantastic babysitter for S - do please feel free!