World Book Day - Dressing up Plans!

Next week is World Book Day and S's nursery are planning a week of activities to celebrate. This is the part where I'm really glad I'm self employed, because it means I can juggle my plans for the week and join them for a trip to the book shop next week.

We love books in our house; S has way more books than cuddly toys at the end of her cot, and I'm in trouble if we don't have at least five stories before bed each night (usually with singing and actions these days). The favourite by an absolute mile is still Dear Zoo, which S loves to read - even though the copy in her cot has long since had a mass escape and the only animal left in the zoo is the dog (and a rather toothless lion).

And of course, the highlight of World Book Day is getting to dress up as your favourite book character. Unsurprisingly, a recent survey found that Harry Potter was the most popular character for children to dress up as, with the Gruffalo coming second.

S is a little small for Harry Potter just yet, but she does absolutely love the Gruffalo. She was even lucky enough to be given a Gruffalo costume for Christmas. But it's very warm in nursery, and the Gruffalo suit is very thick (with a big padded tummy).

Other favourites among the girls were characters such as Snow White and Tinkerbell - possibly more to do with getting to dress up as them, than the actual characters. I think everyone here knows my feelings on dressing little girls as princesses though, so those are out.

Characters from Lord of the Rings are also still popular, especially Gandalf and Golum... I'm sorely tempted to dress S as Gandalf just for the hilarity of seeing her in a big white beard... but I don't think she'd enjoy it too much! Shame... Maybe when she's older.

It's reassuring to find that the likes of the Famous Five, Rupert the Bear and even Popeye are still on the list - proof that good characters can stand the test of time, but still not really suitable for a girl toddler.

In the end I think we're going to go with the toothless lion from Dear Zoo. S has been perfecting her ROAR, complete with cheeky grin... Watch this space for a gazillion photos!

S in her lion suit, perfecting that roar.

Survey results provided by Fancy Dress Ball

Friend or Colleague?

I bumped into a friend the other day. She's been in her job for more than 10 years, but now the company is closing down her branch, and she will probably be redundant. She's looking forward to the pay out, but commented that she will miss the people she works with. The place itself has a high turnover of staff, but there are a few of them who have been there since the beginning, and she's known them all her working life. But she knows that when they're not all trudging into the same office every morning, they probably won't make the effort to stay in touch.

This made me think about my own situation.

Before I had my breakdown, I had been in my job for six years. I had spent a lot of time with these people. Not only did we spend 35+ hours per week together doing a very boring job that encouraged us to all roll our eyes at each other and have that sense of companionship you get when the people much further up the food chain are micromanaging a situation they know nothing about - but we also socialised together. It was a large company, but sociable. There were pub quizzes and other organised events but also just random nights out in the pub. I thought these people were my friends.

When I went bonkers, I know a fair few people were made very uncomfortable by that and jumped ship, but as it is, I think I am probably only still "proper" friends with one or two people I met through my time in that company. The rest were merely colleagues. We had this mutual sharing of spare time because we shared something in common to bitch about.

These days, being self employed, I don't really have any colleagues. Just friends and clients. And all of my clients are lovely because they work with me.

I don't have office politics or a dress code or thinly veiled favouritism or monthly one to ones that happen only on paper, or targets or PDPs or pay rises significant only because of their absence. I don't have to queue at a water cooler or drink awful coffee from one of those terrible machines. If I fancy something to eat I am not limited to whatever I remembered to shove in my hand bag before I left the house or whatever is in the dodgy machine in the break area. I don't have to remember to bring a pass card out of the house with me; I don't have to make polite conversation with people I'd much rather never speak to again. I don't have to put up with the one person in the company with the loudest voice but the lowest IQ telling me everything I've done wrong very loudly.

I reckon that makes me just about one of the luckiest people out there. Happy Monday everyone!

Saving Energy

Be smart with your energy choices: switch now and get a great electricity deal!

NB this is a sponsored post; I received some compensation in order to place it here.

The Childcare Issue

I was on LBC this morning talking about childcare costs; a new report has come out showing that childcare costs have rocketed by almost 80% in the last ten years and people are outraged.

Actually, the figure they quote as an average (and are clearly outraged by) is about £50 a week less than what I pay.

My daughter goes to a fantastic nursery. I know she is safe and well cared for there, and she has fun. She is happy there. I can leave her there in the morning knowing that she will play happily with her friends, learn about the world, do painting, drawing, make collages, play outside in the playground. At lunch time, the cook prepares a fabulous meal that they all eat together; S often has double helpings. If her nose runs, someone will wipe it. If she falls down, someone will pick her up and give her a cuddle. She usually comes home wearing her spare change of clothes, covered in sand and paint and glitter and food - and a great big grin. I am happy to pay what some might think is an extortionate amount on childcare because I know every penny of it is money well spent.

Let's look at the options parents have here:

1. One parent stays home and looks after the child(ren) while the other goes out to work. One income (unless it's fairly substantial) will not go terribly far and unless the stay at home parent is Mum/Dad of the Year, there is likely to be a fair bit of down time during the day while the parent does things like cleaning, washing, preparing lunch and so on. Yes, they can go out to toddler groups and meet friends at the park, but there is also likely to be a fair amount of time spent watching CBeebies (there was when I was a SAHM any way). Doing things outside of the house costs money, and if your partner is not bringing home the big bucks, you can't always afford an educational trip to the zoo or whatever.

2. Both parents work, and the child or children go to nursery or stay with a relative. It's hard enough to pay for a nursery place for one child, but if you have two nursery age children, at what point do you decide that actually, the second parent going to work is costing you money?

Childcare seems to have become this problem to solve: find someone to watch the children and make sure they don't break any bones while you go and sit at a desk doing a job you hate and resent because it's keeping you away from your child. The media, and the government, seem to have forgotten that actually, many of us don't want cheap-as-chips nursery places. If my nursery put its prices down, I would wonder what the hell they were scrimping on. I want to pay good money, knowing that my child is happy and safe and secure, and that the staff are not spending their time at work preoccupied with how they will make ends meet this month. I don't want to pay peanuts to just shove my child somewhere to keep her out of harm's way. No job is worth that.

My personal opinion is that nurseries should receive massive subsidies from the government. In the same way that schools receive funding per pupil for the academic year, nurseries should receive the same - with a token amount of top-up from the parents.

I fully respect parents who choose to stay home with their children until they're of school age. I know a lot of women who do this, and they do a fantastic job. I know that I could not do such a great job; I know that on a day-to-day basis, my daughter has more fun at nursery than she does stuck at home with me. And I am a better Mummy for the time I get to spend working and chatting to adults about things that don't involve nappies and CBeebies.

So what do we do? The other caller on the show today was a lady called Claire Paye from a campaign group called Mothers At Home Matter. She quite rightly said that funding seems to be skewed in favour of families where the parents work; families where a parent stays home to care for the children receive no funding. Incidentally, it's the same if you decide to home school your child: pack your child off to a crowded, dirty school that's more about crowd control and exams than actual enrichment of life, and that school get a set amount of funding per head. Decide to home school your child... you don't even get a free exercise book.

Claire says:

Mothers at Home Matters believes that mothers are the most important person in a child's life. However, this Government is spending £4.5bn on childcare and what it calls early intervention whilst charging families with a mother at home at least 54% more tax than families where both parents work.  So they are subsidising childcare and penalising mothercare.  Mothers at Home Matter is campaigning for a level playing field where families can make a genuine choice as to whether to look after their babies and children entirely themselves or for both parents to work to whatever extent suits the family.  The only 'choice' the Government offers families is for both parents to work, ideally for as many hours as possible, outsourcing childcare to paid, detached professionals.  

The phrase Claire used on air was a "level playing field." I think she's right to be honest. I really believe that being a parent is the most important job there is. As parents we are responsible for raising the next generation. If we do a bad job, who will pick up the pieces? If we can't afford to do enriching, educating activities with our children, if we can't afford to take them places, to feed them nice and varied foods... what happens then? What happens when that child grows up into an adult who has never seen a pineapple, or hasn't learned how to tell the time? Or something more serious?

Which brings me onto my next point.

I've written before about the change to Universal Credit, and how I'm not the biggest fan. The latest revelations have left me gobsmacked though!

With the proposed changes, families claiming what are currently known as tax credits and earning above the income tax threshold - due to rise to £10,000 this April - will be able to reclaim up to 85% of their childcare costs (at the moment it's 70%). Sounds good, right?

Except that those earning below the income tax threshold will only be able to claim up to 70% of their childcare costs. According to Gingerbread, this means families on lower incomes will effectively be paying double for their childcare. How is that in any way right?

Just sit and have a think for a moment about this. Single parents returning to work invariably end up in low-paid, menial jobs - because that's what's available to fit around everything else. Mums in general end up mostly on the checkouts at Tesco or in cleaning jobs because of a lack of flexibility in their original jobs. How many of those jobs do you think will pay more than £10,000 a year? Bearing in mind, of course, that the person in question might only be doing 18 hours a week.

I understand the idea that "if you're not paying tax, you can't claim it back" but really that puts lower income families in a really tricky position. What do they do? I claim tax credits to pay for S's nursery. If my funding suddenly dropped to 70% I'd have to find that shortfall from somewhere. I'm trying to think of where I'd find it... It would undoubtedly be the money spent on day trips, bus rides, supplies for messy play, colouring pens. Or I would have to stop work and go onto Income Support. How is forcing someone who wants to work to go back to life on benefits helping anyone?

I don't understand what they want us to do. They seem to be putting low income families in a position where they have zero chance of things getting any better. No chance of moving to a nicer area, affording a car so that they can get to a better job a little further afield. No light at the end of the tunnel. The attitude seems to be well, you had the kid; you look after it and don't come begging to us for help. Fabulous. But however you penalise my child for existing today, tomorrow, this year, next year - at some point she will grow up and become a member of society like you and I. And with more children being pushed below the poverty line, their parents not given the chance to set them a good example, what will society look like in 20, 30, 40 years?

And I know this is the point where all the people who aren't entitled to claim any form of tax relief or benefit pipe up and say "well I don't get any help; why should you?" I think the question there really should be "why shouldn't I  be entitled?" I think all families, regardless of background or income or anything else, deserve a level playing field. This is not a numbers game; it's not an experiment; it's not a joke. This is the wellbeing of our children we are talking about here. How are we to know that the cure for Cancer is not currently inside the brain of a little boy who lives on a rough council estate, already written off by the government as not being worth their effort?

Everyone deserves the chance to have the very best start in life. I believe the parent knows their child best, and therefore it's their decision what the best start will be. For some, that is going to work - and they should be able to go to work in a fulfilling job, without worrying about who is taking care of their child. For others, it's staying home and taking care of the child themselves - and these people should be given just as much help and support to do that. Because if we don't... well, who will be in charge of the pensions by the time we hit pension age?

Pollyanna

This week my column in the local paper was about Pollyanna. I only get a limited space in the paper, so I thought I would elaborate on it here...

I have this friend; I call him Pollyanna. He always finds a bright side. Nothing is ever bad enough to make him properly miserable. His greatest moments of happiness seem to come from seeing those around him happy. It’s weirdly refreshing, and kind of inspiring.

On the one hand: it’s been raining for about 400 years; it’s cold; prices are going up; you can never get the self service tills in Tesco to work without help from the staff.

But on the other hand, it’s not so bad, is it? I don’t know about you, but I have all my own limbs and most of my own teeth. I sleep in a warm bed with my beautiful daughter next to me, and I have clean running water. I could spend my life thinking about the things I don’t have, the things that have knocked me down. Where would it get me? Nowhere good!

My plan is to be more like Pollyanna from now on. More smiles, more bright sides, more love. Who’s with me?

My point is, there's more than enough negativity in the world. And I really believe that you get more of what you focus on. So by going around, moaning and whining about everything, we just end up with more of it.

Why would you not choose to be happy?

It's scientifically proven that if you sit down at the end of the day and think about the good things that happened, eventually your brain "trains" itself to always look for the good in any given situation. People who do this are happier. Why would you not choose to be happier, if you could?

I think we're all going around thinking that "happiness" is this abstract notion that will happen when. When I've got a better job, I'll be happy. When I've got more money, I'll be happy. When I get married, I'll be happy. The notion that we can do something, and start right now, to manufacture our own happiness, seems completely foreign and somehow false.

It might start out false, to sit there and think "well, it wasn't a complete loss today; I had a chocolate biscuit for lunch!" but over time, that habit of looking for the bright side in every situation will mean that the negative bleakness everyone else is focusing on won't affect you so much.

For instance: it's raining today, and I have a ridiculous cough. S was awake most of the night, she fell off the bed this morning and I felt like the world's worst mother. BUT S went into nursery with a smile on her face, after eating more for breakfast than she's managed in the last week or so. It's not raining as hard as it has been recently, and the wind is not so strong that an umbrella is out of the question. Life is not that bad! Look on the bright side; what harm can it do?

#3Dates3Mths: The One With The Smiling

I decided at the start of this year that I might like to try the whole dating thing. I toyed with the idea of opening an account on a dating site... and then just sort of procrastinated a bit.

And then the people at Just Singles, as if having read my mind, asked me if I'd like to take part in their #3Dates3Mths challenge. At first I was horrified at the thought of having to go on 3 dates: I would have to actually get off my bum and go and meet men. Then I realised that actually, doing something like this, where people are sitting there, tapping their feet and waiting for a blog post about it, would mean I had to actually get up off my bum and go and meet men. No more procrastinating. So I said yes. And began to panic.

I had been reading The Surrendered Single because its author, Laura Doyle was a speaker at a conference I had the recordings to, and she sounded interesting. Some of the stuff she says is pure bonkers (more on that in a different post) but one thing she says makes a lot of sense: she suggests that if you're single and looking to attract one of them there men, you should make eye contact with, and smile at, every man you meet. Even if you're not interested in them you should do this, just to get into the habit of doing it. 

I didn't really want to be known as "that bonkers woman who smiles like a loon" so I decided to water it down a little, and not smile at every man I met; that would be a bit odd. But realistically, there is a lot to be said for just smiling and being friendly - with men and with women, even if you're not single, not looking for a date, and not doing it for a blog post.

It's really nerve-racking to start with; you imagine that people must be giving you sideways looks thinking, what the *** is up with this woman. Actually, they mostly just smile back. Some even say "good morning" or comment on the weather. Actually, just to smile at a stranger and say "hi" can do wonders for your mood. And hopefully for theirs too.

I find this sort of thing about a million times easier when I have an impossibly cute toddler in tow. Even though she doesn't speak to anyone, she looks cute so people do that whole "aw your kid is cute" thing. On my own, it took a lot of getting used to, what with being horribly shy and inhibited. I tend to think of it in terms of just being more friendly and sociable, than actively looking for a nice man to go on a date with. I smile at whoever doesn't look like they would either take offence or become creepy.

But what about the date?! I hear you cry... Well, nobody came running up to me in the street to exclaim, "I really loved the way you smiled at me; let me take you out to dinner!" but I did give my number to a rather lovely man in M&S the other day. I see him all the time (M&S is the closest food shop to home so I end up going in there for forgotten bits all the time), but had never really chatted. With this whole "making an effort to be sociable" thing, I did chat to him a little and found that actually, he's very nice. And the other day, when S was wound up like a Tasmanian devil on a sugar high as I queued to pay for our milk and Quavers, he took her hat off and made a puppet out of it. I'm not sure he would have done that if we hadn't at least said hello to each other before. So I'm counting it as a win... and we're going out for coffee this week.

Weekend Blog Hop

Well helloooo there!

I hope your week has been a bit awesome; mine has!

One of the most awesome things this week was that I a guest  on the One Bad Mother podcast. You can listen to it here:



Other awesome things happened, but there is a time delay on my discussing those so you'll just have to wait.

So this is the Weekend Blog Hop, getting later and later each week as I completely forget to schedule anything (really need to resolve that)

Link up your blog's Facebook page here:


And link up your blog here:

Don't forget to tell all your friends to link up too, visit some other blogs, show some love. Happy weekend!

Holy Parenting Wars, Batman!

I was listening to a podcast the other day about how parents often feel judged by each other. Everyone who has a child knows the best way to get their child to eat well, sleep, use the potty, not cry, blah blah. The problem is we often think the thing we've stumbled across that works for our child will translate to someone else's.

It struck me that actually, parenting is a bit like religion.

There are a group of us wandering about thinking "meh, I don't really care what you do so long as it doesn't impact me; live and let live!"

Then there are the ones who know what's right, and they know what's wrong, and they think you should do the same as them. Believe in the same God, use the same parenting technique.

When I first started this blog, I wrote a few posts about the way I was choosing to care for S. Someone I had considered a friend sent me a rather detailed Facebook message telling me I should be careful what I wrote about, as people were likely to feel judged by my words. I found it hard to understand that; at no point had I said "I do this and if you don't I think you're wrong" or "you're a bad parent" or anything like that. I know that what I have chosen to do with regard to raising my daughter is not exactly mainstream in a lot of respects. I know that choosing to have her sleep in my bed, breastfeed on demand whatever time of day or night it was, always picking her up if she cried was seen by many as odd, and I know that I know as many people who do the same as me, as do entirely different. I DON'T CARE.

Unless your philosophy for raising your child involves harming them, me or my child, I don't care what you choose to do.
Unless your religion involves harming others, I don't care what you believe.

Why do we as humans seem to have this need to have our beliefs backed up by others? So many of us are seemingly incapable of toddling through our lives, happy with our own beliefs. We're insistent on saving each other from... having a child we deem to be "naughty?" From Hell? Or just from being different to us?

I'm sure sometimes people look at S and I in the street and think I spoil her. They probably even think she's naughty sometimes. I don't think either, and I'm her mum so my opinion trumps everyone else's. It doesn't matter what anyone says to me; I'm not going to put my child on the naughty step or call her naughty or "discipline" her. In all honesty, I really don't care what you think of my child, or what you do with yours. We can still be friends as long as what you're doing doesn't constitute child abuse!

The thing is, I was not raised in the way I am choosing to raise my child. In reality, I have no idea whether my approach to parenting will produce a well-adjusted, happy adult any more than the route you have taken.

And when it comes to religion, if there is a God you can be pretty damn sure it's the same God for the Christians as it is for the Muslims, the Jews, the Sikhs and whoever else. And I don't think I've ever seen any holy book, ever, that preached judge everyone by your standards and preferences! Make them the same as you, or it will definitely affect your destiny. I'm fairly sure Heaven is not a party to which you're only granted entrance if you've managed to convince 50 people to come with you. And in parenting, we all know deep down that the only person you need to be popular with is your child.

The One Where It Becomes Single Hippie Ahoy...

What's your opinion on coincidence?

Personally, I think a lot of the time you bump into people/find what you're looking for /hear from the person you were just thinking about... for a reason.

The other day S and I were on our way home from nursery in the rain... we saw a lady ahead with 2 dogs. S likes dogs so I pointed them out to her. Their owner was waiting to cross the road and she turned around to say hi... Their owner turned out to be a lady I used to work with a few years ago. She'd  moved away for a while and then come back, and was living just round the corner. We had a lovely chat and later added each other on Facebook.

On Monday this lady put up a status asking if anyone wanted some free reiki because she wanted to keep her hand in with her practice... I practically bit her arm off as I've always wanted to try it but never actually got round to it. So the next morning after dropping S at nursery, I went to my friend's house, and had a seated reiki session... and a good old chin wag too.

If you don't believe in things like reiki, crystal healing, chakras and other such things, you should probably stop reading here.

For a good couple of months, I've had a bit of a cold. The kind where it's just a bit of a runny nose, bit chesty from time to time, but nothing to really do anything about. Except do a lot of throat-clearing. Throat clearing that never works.

I can't really explain what happens in a reiki session... it involves opening chakras and removing negative energy. When we first started, I was tired. Then I felt so tired I almost felt drunk. And then when I left I felt really energised and optimistic and inspired to do lots of things... I spent most of Tuesday buzzing like I'd taken something. I'm still pretty happy now, but it's calmed down a bit!

One thing that came up was that there's an imbalance between my heart chakra and my throat chakra - there's something I really feel I need to say, but for whatever reason I'm not saying it. That could be any number of things with me; I'm terrible for telling people how I feel. As in, I just find that I am incapable of actually opening my mouth and saying whatever is on my mind, if I'm at all worried as to what the other person's reaction will be.

My cold seems to be clearing up, but the coughing and the feeling that I really need to clear my throat is almost constant now. Seems I really need to get something off my chest!

Today I went to the crystal shop in town and bought a silver "om" pendant with some turquoise in it, and some tumbled chrysocolla and amazonite...

Just Your Average Monday Morning...

This morning, I am meeting a friend for coffee.
It's a man.
A man I quite like, as it happens. But we don't discuss that.
I spend ages trying to find a top that I feel comfortable in, but doesn't show too much cleavage; I don't want him to think I'm deliberately trying to flash him.

The problem is that since my chest has grown somewhat, and most of my clothes are either V-neck or scoop-necked, they all show my cleavage. And I don't have any sensible vest tops to wear underneath. I am painfully aware that since I am shorter than most people, just because a top looks reasonable in the mirror, it could well be obscene from an average height. I think I've done well with my choice though. It's a pretty dress I had actually bought for a proper date, later in the week (with someone who is looking for all that malarkey, unlike this one). It's not too low cut, and I think it looks quite nice. I mean to ask him for his opinion on it for a daytime first date with a stranger, but I forget.

As part of a long-standing joke, I have bought my friend a bottle of cherry Lambrini. He has never tasted it. I feel this is a terrible state of affairs. He arrives, and I hand him a bag containing the Lambrini and some socks I had bought at Christmas and forgotten to give to him. (they are chuffing good socks)

We walk into town to get coffee, but he has to go to the post office first, so we trudge to the tiny post office at the end of the High Street. In order to sort through his parcels, he hands me the bag with the cherry Lambrini, so that he doesn't drop it. I then remember that I have letters to post, and as he gets to the counter, begin to rummage through my handbag to find them... I forget the carrier bag is also hanging off my arm... and it drops to the floor with one of those sickening noises that can mean only one thing.

The bottle has smashed; there is sickly, fizzy pink liquid spreading quickly across the floor. Practically every member of staff in the post office rushes to help with rolls of kitchen roll and rags. We mop it all up and rescue the slightly soggy socks from the bag, but not before I've managed to cut my hand on a piece of broken glass. Turns out Lambrini bottles smash like an absolute bastard; I am glad this did not happen in my kitchen!

The post office staff are all lovely; we clean the mess up, pop to Boots for some plasters, and then have the coffee and chat we had originally planned on having.

And then, just as we are leaving, he quietly points out to me that while I was grubbing about on the floor mopping up spilled alcopop, most of the post office queue could see straight down my top. Massive wardrobe fail.

At least I am wearing a good bra today. Every cloud...

Are You Successful?

I was going to be all clever, and start this post with a dictionary definition of "success..." Then I realised that really that would be stupid, since the whole point of this post is that whether or not you are successful depends on your definition of success.

I used to work for a pension company. I was there for six years, during which time I got promoted, was taken on a free trip to Spain,  given an award for "thinking outside of the box," got all sorts of fancy pants stuff thrown at me, and probably could have gone on to... whatever "successful" people in that industry do. My point is that to all intents and purposes, I looked successful. I had a nice house, a gym membership, a personal trainer, lots of stuff. Until I had a massive nervous breakdown, and walked away from it. People thought I was bonkers when I ended up moving out of my house and giving away hundreds of pounds' worth of things, but to me it felt like the only sensible option. Like that line from Fight Club: the things you own end up owning you.

I ended up going back to pensions, because I had no idea what I wanted to do. When I was made redundant, I was over the moon. To me, that was the universe saying "you idiot, I've already told you once that this is not for you!"

Success is not the same for everyone.

I've a friend who left a job working in the City for a massive company where she earned a fortune but was never at home, to run her own business locally where she can spend more time with her daughter. Her neighbour keeps bringing her application forms for jobs in massive multinationals; he doesn't understand why she wouldn't want to be in that sort of work if she can.

For you, success might be being a manager at your local supermarket. For someone else, success might be opting out of society completely and being totally self reliant. For some, success looks like being a stay at home parent whose children are home schooled.

For me, success is to have a weekly column in a national newspaper or magazine. It's taken me a long while to even realise that was what I wanted to do because I bought into other people's idea of what success meant. Earn lots of money, buy lots of stuff. Like that episode of Friends where Chandler realises he cares about the WENUS.

When I finally realised/admitted to myself that what I wanted to do with my life was to be a writer, it was like everything just sort of slotted into place. I left education and entered the world of work when I was 19. Each time I got a new job, it was always with the thought that "I'll just do this until I figure out what I really want to do..." I ended up working in pensions for nine years because I thought the office job and the promotions and the annual bonus and all the crap was "success." It wasn't.

This post has become a little rambly and disjointed, but my point is this: If you don't know what your version of success looks like, you will never know when you get there!

If you don't know what success means to you - what it truly means, not what you've been educated to believe it is - then you'll never end up doing what you really want to be doing. 

And don't worry if you don't know what you want to be when you grow up; I was 32 before I made the decision. There's always time to change and start afresh. Otherwise, what will you think of yourself, when you get to your death bed?

I'm going to go ahead and suggest that if you're not happy, you're not successful. It doesn't matter what you're doing for work; if it doesn't make you happy, it's not the right thing for you. 

Furthermore, if you have children, what are you teaching them? It's all very well sticking it out in a job you hate so that you can afford big Christmas presents and an annual holiday somewhere nice, but what are you teaching your children about life? That you have to do shitty things that you hate so that you can have a shiny car and lots of crap. Isn't it better to teach them that they can do whatever they want, and that happiness isn't something you can only experience for 2 weeks a year when you manage to negotiate time off work for a holiday? Wouldn't it kill you to fast-forward 20 years and find your children wasting away their lives in a job that made them thoroughly miserable? Wouldn't you rather teach them that they can do whatever they want, as long as it makes them happy?

What are you waiting for? Much like the decision to have children, there will never be a perfect time to quit your crappy job and go and find the one you want. That day will never come. 

So go and follow your dreams, whatever they are. Life is too short not to, and it's better for everyone if you are happy in the short time you spend on this planet.

Weekend Blog Hop 2014-02-08

Today is Dave Day; we're all supposed to call each other Dave in honour of Roger Lloyd Pack, who would have been 70 today.

Alright, Dave?

So... what have you been up to this week? Anything good?

S and had a fabulous week, as always. The weather was so awesome last Sunday, we went to the beach and had a lovely, long walk!  Fingers crossed the rain will dry up soon, and we can spend more time at the park and generally having fun outside.

Right. On with the show. Here is the Facebook page link:



And here is the blog list:

Handbag Design Competiton

Do you fancy yourself as a bit of a designer?

Or perhaps you're just very particular about the handbag you want, and can't find it in any shops.

Now is your chance to do something about it!

Isla Rule of London are currently running a competition whereby you can design their next generation of "technobag" and be in with a chance of winning £500 to boot.

Isla Rule want to know what your ideal perfect business bag would look like; what would you include? What would you leave out? What is essential to a good business handbag?

This is one of their more recent creations, the "Hannah" laptop bag:

It's a bit gorgeous isn't it!

To see more details and to enter the competition, take a look at the site here.

Weekly Gratitude Linky 2014-02-07

The more astute among you may have noticed I have not been as prolific this week as I usually am.

I've not been in the best frame of mind, and I think it's always best to avoid sharing the bad feeling when you're like that.

But I'm back on form now!

What am I grateful for this week?

• A fabulous trip to the beach on Sunday with my mum and sister. It was so lovely to just have a nice long walk on the beach, stomp in the water with S, collect some stones, just... be outside. We had a fabulous time and came home feeling really refreshed. I'm reading The 4-Hour Work Week at the moment, the basic premise of which is: why are we all deferring enjoyment of our lives? Why are we working like doozers (if you don't know what one is, Google it), looking to some point in the middle-distance, when we will retire and finally have some fun? Why not find a way to have our fun now, alongside our work? I am so up for that! 
• A productive and inspiring meeting on Monday about upcoming Damsels in Success shenanigans. I cannot tell you how much I love going to Damsels meetings. I leave every single one feeling uplifted and inspired to do great things... I'm probably going to start writing about them here, but also am planning to write monthly blogs for our local group.
• Lots of work; lots of money! I've been self employed for a few months now, and my plan for this year is to turn things around so that most of my income comes from writing. I am determined to achieve this, and so have adopted this mantra to repeat to myself whenever I start to waver a little. Lots of work; lots of money. Say it with me; it can't do you any harm, can it!
• I am, as always, thankful for the most amazing and supportive friends a girl could wish for. I can't even describe what happened this week as I really don't want to mention negativity on the blog at all. What I do want to mention though, is that when I felt proper shitty (that's a technical term), certain people were there to help get me back on the right track, and for those people I will be forever grateful. You can't do anything good when you're not in a good frame of mind, so anyone who can help you get back to that is worth their weight in gold, as far as I'm concerned.
• I am thankful for great big metaphorical slaps in the face from the universe, or karma, or whatever you want to call it. Not so long ago, when I was feeling miserable, I would have sat there and asked, why me? and probably taken a good week or so to pull myself out of the doldrums. This week, I looked at my situation, realised what had caused it, picked myself up and moved on. A maximum of 48 hours of feeling crappy. A vast improvement. I think this has a lot to do with the meditation to be honest.
• A weird thing to be thankful for, but I wrote a piece for a client this week, and she called me soon after I'd emailed it. I always panic when that happens, but she started the conversation with "love, love, love the piece, it's fantastic, thank you!" Which just about made my week. Perhaps I'm good at writing after all.

What are you grateful for this week?

I would love it if you would link up any positive post here.

Regularly stopping to think about (and write down) what we are grateful for is scientifically proven to improve our general moods and wellbeing. It's worth doing!

Weekend Blog Hop 2014-02-01

Congratulations, you made it through January!

Give yourself a pat on the back!

Happy days!

I hope your week has been as fantastically awesome as mine!

Any way, enough of the hijinx. Here's the linky...

Link up your FACEBOOK page here:

Link up your BLOG here: