Saturday 31 May 2014

Weekend Blog Hop 2014-05-31


Welcome to the Weekend Blog Hop!

I'm away this weekend, enjoying my first ever mini-break with S... expect a lot of photos and a blog post or two when we return!

This week I've chosen the blogger showcase... *drumroll*

I've chosen "Pretty in... colours other than pink" from Neil Walker at Only Two Days a Week.

I can relate so completely to this post; the point Neil makes about little girls growing up thinking things "for them" come packaged in pink is the reason I buy a lot of boys' clothes for S. I hate the idea of segregating and limiting a child's experiences based on their gender.

My Life As A Mummy

And now, on with the show!

Link up your FACEBOOK page here:




Before linking up your blog, please note the rules:
1. please add a general link to your blog, not to individual posts.
2. please comment on a post from the two blogs ahead of you in the linky. You can of course comment on more than this if you like, but two is the minimum.
3. Please leave a comment here after linking.

If you tweet your link using the hashtag #WeekendBlogHop we will attempt to RT as many as possible over the course of the weekend.

Add your BLOG link here:



Have a fabulous weekend!


My Life As A Mummy

Thursday 29 May 2014

Skin Care in the Sun

As S and I are off for a little beach break this weekend, I thought it might be good to do a little post about taking care of skin in the sun...


Playing outside in the sun is an important part of growing up. Parents have shooed their children out of the house to get a moments rest as well as helping their kids get some exercise. It is important to make sure that they are well protected. Along with some common sense the only other thing you can arm them with is some good sunscreen lotion and proper clothing. Once they’re outside and out of sight they may adventure in ways you may not have expected but knowing that they aren’t going to get a sunburn takes at least one of the worries away.

There are a couple of main categories for sun protection. Wear protective clothing like hats and sunglasses can help keep your skin covered in the sunlight. Playing in the shade occasionally is a good way to keep some of the rays off you as well. There are a few ways to maximize your protection from sunscreen as well. Applying sunscreen 30 minutes before playing outside can make sure it is set in the skin well. Every three hours is also a good timeframe for reapplying lotion as well. It can rub off or wear off even if it says all day or waterproof. Don’t be afraid to put it everywhere! Even if you think you have the spots covered you don’t want to have burns around your clothes when they move around slightly during activities.

This infographic from Skinfo.com has more ... Skinfo!



Super SPF


Note: This content is sponsored.

Monday 26 May 2014

Review: Above All Things by Tanis Rideout



I was sent a copy of Above All Things by Tanis Rideout as part of Brit Mums' Book Club. It's the story of the 1924 British attempt to climb Mount Everest, and is written from three different perspectives: Andrew Irvine, George Mallory, and Mallory's wife, Ruth.

I have to be honest; I've not finished this book. I've really struggled with it, which seems completely at odds with all of the other Book Club members! I'm about half way through it now, and I'm not sure whether I'll manage to finish it. I have a short attention span when it comes to fiction, and if it weren't for the fact this was a Book Club book, I'm not sure it would have kept my attention past the first couple of chapters.

1924 was the second expedition to Everest. Mallory had been on the 1922 attempt, as well as the 1921 exploration expedition. In the book he is portrayed as someone who lived for climbing, and saw Everest as the ultimate challenge; he could not turn down the opportunity of climbing the mountain and reaching its summit. He is the man who, when asked why he wanted to climb Everest, famously answered: "because it's there."

Irvine, on the other hand, is the fresh-faced newbie. He's climbed mountains before, but only small ones. He looks up to Mallory, and wants to prove that just because he's never attempted Everest before, it doesn't mean he can't do it.

The third person we hear from, Mallory's wife, is just depressing! She loves her husband and finds it difficult to cope in his absence, despite having three children to care for. She seems to spend a lot of time moping after him.

I feel it's the sections concerning Mallory's wife that let this book down. From the Author's Note at the back of the book, I know that the question of what it must have been like to be married to Mallory and essentially take second place to a mountain, was what captured Rideout's imagination in the first place. For me, as a single mother used to just getting on with things, Ruth infuriates me. I want to slap her around the face and say "he's gone to climb a bloody mountain; stop bawling and get on with your life!"

One thing that struck me about this book was the concept of what they were actually doing, back in 1924. Long before camping shops and specialist climbing equipment really existed, before satellite phones and weather reports and lightweight fleece long-johns to keep you warm on the side of a mountain were anywhere near invented, this group of men decided to try and reach the summit of the world's tallest mountain. They had little clue what lay in wait for them; there were no maps, and they could only make the attempt from Tibet on the north side of the mountain, as Nepal on the south was closed to all Westerners. Furthermore, since the 1922 attempt had been abandoned when an avalanche they had caused killed seven porters, they knew there was a high risk of death. But off they went.

For me, whenever someone writes a novel based on historical fact, I spend large amounts of time reading a paragraph and then thinking well how do you know that happened? With some books, it's easy to just detach from the reality, and pretend it's just a novel like any other - but with this, it's such a famous story I really find that I can't do that.

I know that in order to write this novel, Rideout embarked on an awful lot of research. I don't doubt that she's got the general facts about the expedition correct, and I love the fact that at the end of April this year, she tweeted photos and facts about the expedition that happened 90 years previously on those very days. I don't dispute that she knows her subject; my problem is that there is so much she would have had to speculate about.

Spoiler alert: don't read past here if you don't know what happened on the 1924 Everest expedition.

Nobody knows what happened to Mallory and Irvine on the 8th of June. The closest we have is Noel Odell's account from 2,000 feet below them, believing he saw them on the ridge above... but they were never seen again. There is hope that, if Irvine's body is ever found, it will have with it the camera not found with Mallory's body in 1999. The hope is that the extreme cold will have preserved the film in the camera, and we might finally be able to tell whether they reached the summit.

When reading this book, I get that feeling in my stomach; the one you get when you watch a movie you've seen fifty times, and you know what happens but when it comes to that pivotal point you still have that glimmer of hope that perhaps this time, it won't.

The scenes on the mountain are magnificently written; you really get an understanding of what the altitude sickness must have felt like. Rideout does well at reminding us of not just the conditions they were facing, but also the time in which they were doing it: no weather reports, no satellite phones or navigation. Letters between the climbers and their families at home were months in between. Little things, like when they find the camp they made last time, makes you realise things that had never occurred to you before - that when they had made previous attempts, they'd just abandoned their tents and equipment as they descended the mountain. I'm not sure I had imagined them packing it all away like a family at the end of a camping weekend, but the idea of stumbling across the remains of a tent and some cans of food years later on the side of a mountain was strange.

One thing this book has done is make me want to find out more about the expedition; I would love to see more photos and to read a more factual account. I know that when Mallory's body was found, they also found various notes and letters; I would love to be able to read them and the other notes from the expedition and to read more about what went on. Another thing I find fascinating is the story of Maurice Wilson; he is mentioned briefly in the book (with a certain amount of artistic license, since he didn't even attempt Everest until 10 years after Mallory and Irvine) but I'd love to know more about why and how he decided to just wander off and climb Everest alone.

I'll leave you with this film of the 1924 ascent:



Note: I was provided with a copy of Above All Things free of charge, but that was not dependent on my writing a favourable review. All words and opinions are my own.


MamaMummyMum

Sunday 25 May 2014

My Sunday Photo: 2014-05-25




Last week, I took S to a friend's shop launch. It was very warm, and meant staying up after her bed time - so I was more than a little concerned as to how it would go.
As it was though, we had a great time. She posed for photos, played nicely and even chattered to a few people - something she doesn't normally do, even with people she knows reasonably well. We had a fabulous time, and I returned home feeling very proud of my beautiful little girl. This was one of a few photos taken of us on the evening.


OneDad3Girls

Saturday 24 May 2014

Weekend Blog Hop 2014-05-24



My Life As A Mummy
It's Blog Hop time again!

Laura has chosen the blogger showcase this week:

It's "Can Mothers Relax?" By Crafty Bella

She says:
Can totally relate to this post. Even though Matt is more than fully capable looking after Cam and Lucas, I still worry and when they are out, I will ring/text to see if everything is ok quite often

On with the show!
My Life As A Mummy

Note: The above badge is for the Bloggers Showcase ONLY. If you want the Blog Hop Badge it's at the bottom of the post.

Now for the #WeekendBlogHop

The rules are simple:
  • Link up your BLOG. Do not link up your individual posts, any individual posts linked up will be removed. 
  • Comment on the most recent posts of the two blogs linked up in front of you, if you have already commented on that post, pick the post published before that. 
  • You can comment on more if you like
If you tweet your blog using #WeekendBlogHop we will RT

Link up your Blog Below


Link up your Facebook Page Below
As with the rules above, please follow At Least the two Facebook Pages linked up in front of you.





My Life As A Mummy

Thursday 22 May 2014

Exercise Your Right to Vote!

exercise your right to vote


Today is polling day across the UK.

We're all voting for our representatives in the European Parliament. Some of us are also voting for local councillors.

I've spoken to so many people recently who have said something along the lines of:

I'm not voting; there's no point.
 This worries and saddens me.

Voting for European Parliament especially, seems to have a low voter turnout; people don't seem to care. Nobody's quite sure what they're voting for, and whether it really makes a difference. Voter turnout for European elections was just 34% at the last elections in 2009.

The European Parliament passes laws that affect the entire EU. In recent years, they have set a cap on mobile roaming charges across the EU, controls on food labels and pesticides, and ruled that airlines must show the full price of flights rather than advertising misleading prices that don't include tax etc. 

The European Working Time directive states that nobody must work more than an average of 48 hours in a week. The UK have opted out of this directive, so that British people can work more than 48-hour-weeks if they so wish. In 2008, the European Parliament voted to cancel the right to opt out of this law, but our MEPs have been in talks to try and work out a new directive that will keep the European Parliament and UK residents happy. 

All of these things affect us, whether we like it or not. When you go on holiday to Spain, you know your mobile bill will not be sky-high. You know the labels of the foods you buy there are subject to the same standards as in the UK, and that pesticides that aren't used in the UK, are also not used there. You know that your airfare home is the price quoted on the board at the travel agent's office, not that price plus a load of compulsory add-ons.

These, along with many other reasons, are why you should care who represents you in the European Parliament.

I live in what is deemed a Conservative stronghold. We have had a Tory MP here since 1924. I firmly believe that is because all of the people who support the Conservatives and want them to be in power go out and vote; and all the people who wish we didn't have a Conservative MP sit at home and think "there's no point in my voting; this place is a Conservative stronghold." If they all stood up at the same time and expressed their dissatisfaction at being represented by a Tory, they might just swing the vote in the favour of a Labour or Lib Dem candidate. As it is, they all sit at home and bemoan the status quo, and the status quo remains. In the last two elections, not one person from the block of flats I live in has voted. 

To those who claim they don't vote because "they're all the same, it makes no difference," I say this: there is a difference between staying home and not voting, and using your vote to voice your discontent.

By staying home, you are saying to the government: 
go ahead and do as you wish; make laws to govern my life, tax me as you see fit; I will do as you tell me and never complain. I am your willing servant.

By voting, you can say:
I disagree with your policies. I do not think you are fit to run this country. I want a change.
We are very lucky to have the right to say this to our government in this country. We should consider it a privilege.

You don't have to vote for the Conservatives, Labour or Lib Dems. A lot of people are feeling disillusioned with all three main parties and are voting for other parties as a "protest vote." The problem with a protest vote is, if everyone has the same idea as you, that person may well be elected just because you didn't want the other guy to win.

If you have no faith in any of the candidates, that does not mean you shouldn't bother to vote. It means you should turn up to vote and write on your ballot, "I have no faith in any of these people to accurately represent my views." Or you can scribble on it, draw a funny face, whatever. By spoiling your ballot, you say:
I care who runs this country. I care that it should not be you.

The right to vote is so very important, and something that not everyone has. Not so long ago, women did not have the vote here. In Brunei, women are only allowed to vote in local elections; in Saudi Arabia, they are not allowed to vote at all. Black people were not guaranteed the right to vote in the United States until 1965. In South Africa, non-whites were not allowed to vote until 1993. Should I repeat that last one? In South Africa, non-whites could not vote until 1993. You have had the right to vote since you were 18. Bloody use it.

We have this amazing ability to stand up and say "I don't agree with what you are doing" and the powers that be have to listen. We have a coalition government in this country because in 2010, no one party won the election - and they had to listen to what the electorate had said.

At every election, when they read out how many votes each candidate received, they also read out the number of spoiled ballots. That number, that voice of dissent saying "I disagree with you" is counted and recorded and reported on. To me, that number is just as important as any other in an election. It shows the rising voice of discontent in this country. It shows government: you need to change what you are doing, because we are not happy.

There is a massive difference between not voting because you can't be bothered, and spoiling your vote because you do not support any of the candidates.

I am not telling you to spoil your ballot today; I am telling you that if it comes to a choice between not going to the polling station, and going but spoiling your ballot, then bloody well get down there and spoil your ballot. Make your voice heard.  

Wednesday 21 May 2014

Dear CSA, You Stink.

CSA plans to introduce charges


On my local radio station's 7am news bulletin this morning, there was a story I had known was coming for a while. I knew it was coming, but I must admit to having had my head somewhat in the sand about it.
This morning, letters have been sent to single parents all over the country telling them of the new CSA arrangements.

The new CSA arrangements are that single parents must come to a maintenance agreement with their child's absent parent "amicably" or face a charge.


The charge will be applied to both parents: the person paying the maintenance will have a 20% charge added to their payment, and the person receiving the payment pays 4% of it.

This puts me in a tricky position. There are essentially three options open to me:

1. Speak to S's father and make an "amicable" arrangement with the man who told everyone he intended to take my child from me at the first available opportunity. The man who was too busy sleeping with other people to visit me us for more than a few hours a day while we were in hospital after S was born. The man who... well, you all know the story by now; it's not pretty.

2. Carry on using the CSA (now changing to the Child Maintenance Service because changing its name will apparently make us all forget their singular ineptitude). Since I receive only £20 per month from S's father, a 4% charge would see me paying only 80p per month. He would pay £2 above what he's already so graciously paying. 

3. Drop the whole thing; walk away, and accept that even if he wins the Lotto tomorrow, S will not see a penny.

If my health visitor were here, she would tell me that Option 3 is not an option; that once you create a child you are responsible for it, whether you see it or not, and that is that. She would tell me that I should pay the charge just to ensure he still has to pay for the child he created.

I have not spoken to S's father for over a year now. It took a few months of his still emailing me random abuse, and last year he turned up drunk on our door step, but for now at least, things are quiet. (That doesn't mean I've let my guard down; I'm not stupid, and I know this person plays the long game. He's waiting for me to let my guard down, and he will be sorely disappointed to find it's not going to happen.) Why on Earth would I do the equivalent of kicking a wasp's nest, by contacting him again, for any reason? The reason I went to the CSA in the first place was that he was prevaricating on the agreement of maintenance, and calling or texting to ask for my bank details one more time, to check when he was supposed to pay, to argue the toss over how much he should pay. My health visitor pointed out to me that having a personal agreement with him allowed him the excuse he so badly wanted to keep harassing us. When I went to the CSA, and he found out, he punished us by refusing to pay any maintenance at all until they had set up their arrangement - something that took the usual government agency length of time. 

With this in mind, it is obvious that contacting this person, for any reason, is simply not an option for us. 

Which leaves us with Option 2: hand over 4% of my paltry £20 per month (last Summer it went down to just £8 per month) to pay for a service that takes his word for how much he earns, and doesn't perform even the most basic of checks to confirm he's not lying through his teeth about his financial situation.

By all means, charge an absent parent who has had to be chased down for payment by a government agency. To charge a lone parent who is already struggling for money seems to me draconian and unreasonable. It's as if the government is saying, "well, you shouldn't have become a lone parent in the first place!" A further punishment, on top of everything we already have levelled at us, for being lone parents.

Another point I'd like to make here is that the CSA are well known for being a bit rubbish. They don't chase down absent parents who owe money, sometimes for years. Payments can be late, or even nonexistent, and nothing is done unless the person waiting for payment calls up. Over Christmas, we went three months without money because, for the sake of £20 a month, it wasn't worth me calling an 0845 number to chase if if there wasn't a significant amount of money missing. 

If they are going to charge for their service, I sincerely hope they will start providing a service worth charging for. A service where, if you're entitled to a maintenance payment, you get it or they chase the person to the ends of the Earth to get it.

I won't be holding my breath on that one.

A Simple Guide to Internet Dating Profiles

Guide to internet dating profiles


As some of you may know, this year I have been dipping my toe into the waters of dating. It has been fun; I have met some lovely people. I've also skimmed over a lot of dodgy-looking profiles without a second glance.

Here is what I have learned about composing your dating profile:
  • Think carefully about your profile picture. A lot of people will take one look at your main photo, and make a snap decision as to whether they want to bother looking at your profile. Not very PC or charitable, but nature.
  • If your photo shows you drinking/in a nightclub, people will assume that's how you spend most of your time. Fine if you do; not so great if that photo was taken on the one occasion you left the house last year.
  • Men: I don't care if you caught a fantastic fish. I don't know any ladies who are on dating sites looking for men who are able to catch great big fish. It is not on anyone's list of must-haves when looking for a potential suitor. Unless you go to a really, really specific site.
  • It sounds simple, but you'd be surprised by how many people add a photo and don't even bother to turn it the right way up. Likelihood is, when faced with 50 photos to look at, I'm not going to make much effort to focus on the one that also requires turning my head to one side.
  • Don't use a photo of you alongside someone else as your profile picture; it's just confusing. A photo of you with your arm around someone of the opposite sex is just ridiculous. 
  • If your photo shows you half naked, that says something about you. To me, it mostly says "look at me, I really love how my body looks and you should too!" Sometimes it also says "twat" in big, shiny letters. But usually only when there's a bottle or a mad "shouty" expression accompanying the half nakedness.
  • Don't put in your profile that you don't smoke and rarely drink... and then upload several profile pictures of you smoking and drinking. You will only attract people who are too stupid to put the two together.
  • Be positive! You wouldn't believe the number of profiles I've come across that include such cracking lines as "you probably won't be interested" or "I doubt I'm what you're looking for." You guess right, buddy! Nobody wants to date Eeyore; if you really are that miserable, perhaps you should look at resolving that issue before looking for a partner.
  • Be honest about what you are looking for! I know plenty of people, male and female, who have used dating sites purely for casual hook-ups. If that's what you're after, say so!
  • Don't be creepy! I met one guy online who, as soon as he knew my real name, Googled me and began to stalk my online profiles: Facebook, Twitter, this blog, you name it (for all I know, he still is). By all means, Google a person - but don't be nosey, don't be creepy, and don't say things like "did you hurt yourself when you fell over last Thursday?" That is not classed as being attentive; it's classed as being stalky.
  • Remember that your online dating profile is not a way of tricking people into going out with you; it's a way of showing them who you are. There's nothing wrong with putting a positive spin on things, but don't write something that will leave people disappointed when they meet you; it's a waste of both of your time.
  • Finally, get someone else to read it through before you send it live! You might think it's fabulous; a fresh pair of eyes might wonder who you're describing, or why you've never heard of punctuation.
So there's my list.
Do you have anything to add? 
I'd love to hear about your experience of internet dating!

Tuesday 20 May 2014

Realising You Were Abused.




I saw a man being interviewed on TV yesterday morning, and what he said really struck a chord with me.

He was on The Wright Stuff talking about having been sexually abused as a child, and said that he had thought at the time that it was just something that happened; something everyone goes through. It wasn't until later that he looked back and realised he had been abused.

The man said he'd found it hard to get help because by the time he realised he'd been abused, it was well in the past and a lot of places only deal with situations where the police have been called. What resonated with me was when he said that he had realised it was abuse, and was in the process of re-framing everything that had happened.

Quite often when we are abused, we don't realise it's abuse. 
We think it's something we've brought upon ourselves. 
It's something everyone has to deal with. 
Some people are just like that. 
We're just attracting that sort of thing. 
We believe it's our own fault.

When you realise, sometimes months or even years later, hang on... that wasn't my fault... that was abuse... the effects can be awful. Suddenly, everything that happened during the time you were with that person takes on a new meaning. You don't know what is real and what's not. 

You begin to slowly piece together parts of a puzzle you didn't even realise was a puzzle before.

This is not a quick process; it can take months, even years. You can be fine for weeks and then suddenly remember this one time when the person said or did this... and it dawns on you what was actually going on. Memories can surface at the most inconvenient times: when someone you are talking to uses a certain turn of phrase; you end up visiting somewhere you had previously been with your abuser; you think you see someone who looks like them in the street. Often you can walk past the same place a hundred times, and on the hundred and first time, you'll have this dawning realisation of something that happened there.

For both the person experiencing this, and those around them, this can be confusing and irritating. You find yourself thinking "oh good grief, this was ages ago; get over it!" Unfortunately though, the only way to get over it is to experience the feelings that come up, and to move on. 

For those experiencing these unwanted memories and feelings, it can be just as traumatic as anything that happened at the time. I am now two years out of an abusive relationship, and I had an experience like this just the other day. The only advice I can offer is the same as I was given when I was experiencing a nervous breakdown several years ago: be kind to yourself. We all would like to think that once the abuse has ended, and you're "over" it, that's it. The truth is, it's not. The truth is that it keeps coming back, to remind you it's still there.

There are potential triggers everywhere;  you can't possibly avoid them, and avoiding them will actually do you no good in the long run. Avoiding everything that might cause you a problem means that you are living in fear, and your abuser still has control over you. 

Certainly for me, I've found that although certain things remind me of events I'd rather forget, each time they do, the effect is less. The only thing to do is acknowledge it and move on. The only way out is through.

If you have been abused, and you are struggling to deal with it, here are some people who may be able to help:

Hidden Hurt - help with domestic abuse
This is Abuse - the government's site has some useful resources
NSPCC - has a section for adults abused in childhood

If you are still in an abusive relationship, Leaving Abuse can help you.

If these do not appeal to you, please reach out to a friend or family member, or to your GP. 

Monday 19 May 2014

Review: Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman

Bad Mother Ayelet Waldman Review


Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman is subtitled A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace. It's a collection of essays about Waldman's experience of motherhood. More than that though, it's a collection of essays that make you feel so much better about your own Bad Mother credentials. Waldman talks openly and honestly about her life, her children's lives, her family; but she also questions the need to label each other as a bad mothers, the judgement that seems to just come with having a child these days.

I first heard of this book when I read an article in the Guardian. The article struck a chord with me, so I bought the book.

I am one of those people who owns hundreds of books, and has read the first page or so of most of them; books languish on my shelves, destined never to be read. People come around and ask, "is this one any good?" and I have to admit: "I've no idea; I've never read it."

I am also one of those people who will start a book, read most of it, but drop out before the end. I mostly read non-fiction, and in a lot of non-fiction books, the last chapter is a bit of a recap any way; I tend to lose interest before the end, and give up.

This book, though, was engaging from cover to cover. The essay entitled Breast is Best made me cry, as Waldman recounted the story of how her youngest child had almost starved to death. Unsurprisingly, Rocketship had me in floods of tears.

This passage from Breast is Best reminded me so vividly of S's first weeks:


I'd held him in my hands all night long, watching his emaciated chest rise and fall. During those long hours the membrane between life and death seemed so very thin. He was tiny, a weightless bundle of sticks wrapped in translucent skin. I felt his heart beating and the blood flowing through his thread-thin veins.


The final two essays of the book, entitled The Audacity of Hope  and The Life I Want For Them really made me stop and think - about what I will teach S as she grows up, and what my hopes are for her.

Waldman is so incredibly honest in her writing. She's attracted much criticism before now for an article she wrote where she said that she loved her husband more than her children. In this book though, her love for her children shines through in every page. The way she speaks about her son's chubby baby arms, or the way she knows the ins and outs of what they have been doing at school, the lengths she has gone to, in order to get her son diagnosed with a disorder so that he can receive help rather than struggling with his school work. There is no question that this woman is just as devoted and obsessed by her children as the next woman. This level of honesty though, is not something you see from other parent writers.

Mothers writing about parenthood generally fall into two categories: those who present an edited Waltons-esque view of their life, brushing under the carpet any arguments or other issues that might dissuade us from that rose-tinted view; and a second group of women who seem to compete for who is the worst mother in a kind of backwards, begging for reassurance or disagreement sort of way. You know the ones: they write, "oh, I'm such a bad mother; Tarquin missed his piano lesson this afternoon because I took him swimming!" and you want to slap them. Waldman's writing stands out for me, because she openly admits that she forgot a tooth fairy visit for her daughter, and that she's that mother at pre-school whom none of the other parents ever meet; but she does so not to take part in that ridiculous game of one-upmanship (or should that be downmanship) where we try to out-do each other's parenting fails; rather, she's just telling a story.

When I'm reading a book, and a certain phrase or idea resonates with me, I turn up the bottom corner of the page. I do this so that I can easily go back and find what it was that I wanted to remember... with this book, I found that I had turned up so many corners that the book had become almost half as thick again! Waldman's writing just hits the nail on the head time and time again for me. She says so many things that make me stop and think, and question my own views.

I will leave you with a quote from Nigella Lawson, that was used on the back of the UK edition of the book:
I have often felt that it is impossible to be a mother without a profound, even corrosive, sense of failure, or at least that's how I feel about myself. To find a book that shares that anxiety, and an author who dissects this insecurity and self-doubt with wit, honesty and proper, enquiring intelligence, is like being grossly dehydrated and being presented with a vat of water to drink.



MamaMummyMum

We're going on an adventure

Sunday 18 May 2014

#MySundayPhoto 2014-05-18


This week's photo is from yesterday lunch time, in my mum's garden. S absolutely loves the water, so although the paddling pool was freezing, she was in it as soon as her swimming costume was on, and spent a good hour just wandering around splashing and giggling. A joy to behold!


OneDad3Girls

Saturday 17 May 2014

Weekend Blog Hop 2014-05-17


Hello Weekend!

 I hope you've had a wonderful week!

This is a final call for single parent bloggers: this week I will be compiling the first ever Single Parent Roundup for BritMums. If you want to be included, contact me - either here, on Facebook or Twitter, or via email!

This week Laura chose the Blogger Showcase. She's chosen Adventures of Adam and a fabulous post about how to make party food pigs. Love it! Here's what Laura had to say about it:

I came across this and thought Cameron would love this! Such attention to detail and such a fun way to celebrate a birthday. Makes a lovely change from the average party food.

My Life As A Mummy

And now, onto the blog hop.
Firstly, a note on "rules"
Please, please, please: add one link to your blog's home page. This blog hop is for showing off your blog, not one particular post. If you add more than one link to your blog, Laura and I will not comment on your posts and we'll... get a bit pissy. We don't like to get pissy.

Also, as per previous weeks please visit and leave a comment on the two blogs ahead of you in the linky.

Add a link to your FACEBOOK page here:



Thanks for linking up; have a fabulous weekend!

Friday 16 May 2014

Visit From The Stork - Magazine Launch!




For a little while now, I've been writing for a site called Visit From The Stork, a website aimed at young parents.
When Kimberley, the editor and founder, told me she was launching a magazine, I was really excited to be involved! So far there have been two editions posted online, but the third version is a real life paper copy!

To celebrate, Visit From the Stork held a launch party. I was gutted to be unable to go; it seems to have been a great event.


Lots of people were at this event: Michele from Bizmums, some charities, and lots of people who own their own creative businesses.




So Visit From the Stork is now a fully-fledged magazine; it's so exciting to be involved in something so innovative. I know when I had S I felt completely lost at sea - and that was with the benefit of life experience up to age 30. Young mums today face a lot of tough choices (not to mention judgement) and it's lovely to see something aimed directly at them, that doesn't talk down to them.

Kimberley is not one to rest on her laurels though; she has already launched an Etsy shop selling a range of greetings cards and necklaces, which you can check out here.

You can follow Visit From the Stork on Twitter here
You can like Visit From the Stork on Facebook here

Thursday 15 May 2014

Our Morning Story




Our mornings start depressingly early; usually around 6am. As a general rule, I am woken by a small foot poking at my face, wanting a kiss goodmorning... And then, of course, the other foot needs a kiss.

S is usually pretty fun in the mornings; she hides under the duvet, or just plays around. Her favourite thing at the moment is to "hide" under a pillow and wait for me to find her.



On more than one occasion I have come back from having a shower to find her laying like this, waiting to be discovered. 

She has also become wise to the camera flash now, and rather than shy away from it, she tries to play chicken with it!


Once we're up and I've had a shower, we trundle off downstairs to get breakfast.  

We sit together at S's red table to eat breakfast - meaning that she sits comfortably, and I'm a thigh's length from the table at all times because my legs don't fit under it!  We sit together and I chat to her about what lies ahead for the day: who she will see at nursery, what she will play with, whether we have any plans after nursery. She chips in when she has a relevant word - or if she sees a bird flying past the window!

We were sent some belVita breakfast biscuits to try as part of this post; I thought S probably wouldn't like them though. So I made her some toast, and I had some yogurt crunch breakfast biscuits with a coffee.

How wrong was I!


Poor old Mummy was left with just one biscuit!

Once breakfast is over, it's a mad rush to get as much food as possible cleared from around S's face, get her dressed, and get us both out of the door for nursery! 


This post is an entry for #MorningStories Linky Challenge sponsored by belVita Breakfast. Learn more at www.facebook.com/BelvitaUK


Wednesday 14 May 2014

Thinking About Business



A few things have happened lately that have made me think about my "business".

For one thing, I saw a couple of speakers at the Big Business Event in Salisbury, including Lara Morgan and Hugh Vivian. If you've never heard of Lara Morgan, you really should click that there link. She's amazing, and really quite the inspiration - not least because of her ability to talk on the phone whilst breastfeeding, whilst in a meeting. 

I tend not to think of what I do as a business - it's just me and my laptop, sitting at an increasingly crowded desk in my living room and trying to think of something profound to say.

But realistically, if I want to do more than just coast along, I probably need to start thinking of it as a proper business. Which is why I attended the Big Business Event in the first place. Considering I've lived around here my entire life, I barely knew anyone in the room. It made me think perhaps I should be... networking!

The majority of the work I do is for people who aren't around here. The articles I write are all online; the blog posts I write are for companies up and down the country. One of my clients lives in Italy. But does that mean I should ignore the local community? And not just to get more business, but to be a part of the community.

These are hard times for business. A lot of high street shops have closed lately; independents are really taking a hit. The independent businesses are what makes any town or city different from every other city filled with chain stores. I don't want my city to be the same as every other one. I love the diversity we have here. 

Lydia Evans, me, Amanda Foster and Ali Osborne at the Salisbury Big Business Event.
Photo copyright Simon Ward Photography
I had an email the other day from a prospective client, a local company. They had looked at my advertising page and it turned out, we had several people in common. They don't call this place Smallsbury for nothing! It's nice to know the people and businesses around you.

At the end of the day, if I want to be successful at what I do, I need to treat is as a business rather than a passtime. And since I'm surrounded by hundreds of successful businesses, I would be stupid not to be a part of this community.

Monday 12 May 2014

Review: And The Mountains Echoed

Khaled Hosseini Mountains Echoed Review



I rarely read fiction; I've always held it to an impossibly high standard, and if I'm not gripped within the first few pages, I often return the book to a shelf, and never bother with it again. In my teens, I read The Bell Jar and Salinger, and they sort of ruined me for most other authors.

When the opportunity to review And the Mountains Echoed came up, I'm not sure what made me raise my hand and say I'd do it. It's not like I've not read any fiction recently, but the fiction I have read has been what I would describe as "easy" fiction.  The sort you can still follow when your brain is addled and you've only got 5 minutes to read at a time.

This book, though... this book had me gripped within the first paragraph; it was easy to read because it was so magnificently written. This book is singularly the most heartbreaking story I have ever read. A word of warning: if you are prone to crying at sad stories, do not read this book in public. I was crying before the end of the first chapter, and by the end of the book there were proper waves of grief and sobbing.

If I were from Afghanistan, I would write a story about how the country has been torn apart - not just by the Taliban and Al Quaida, but by the Russians, the US-backed Muhajideen, and the countless others. I would write about how Afghanistan wasn't always what we see in the news footage. But Hosseini is far more clever than I am. He has written a story which shows how the country was torn apart, but as the background to a far more personal, and relatable tragedy. Rather than point out "look, look what these people did to my beloved country" he points out, "look at humans; look at what we do to each other; look at how the world is; look at what has happened."

The book is written from several different points of view. There are nine chapters, each written from the perspective of a different person. As each chapter begins, you wonder, "wait, who is this? Why have you stopped that other story? I really wanted to know what happened!" The chapters each stand alone as their own story of a person's experience - but they all intertwine, often in ways you don't really expect. The craftsmanship involved in putting this novel together is exquisite. 

The story sweeps through several decades, its earliest point being in 1949. Each chapter tells a story; each story intertwines. I don't want to tell you much more than that, because I really don't want to ruin for you what is really a fantastic read.

Hosseini portrays Afghanistan as a normal, human country that existed before 2001, with normal people living normal lives. It makes it into a real place with real people, better than any news show, documentary or newspaper report could or has. We in the West are often ignorant of what goes on outside of our immediate geography, until something happens farther afield. Suddenly, in 2001 we were all aware of the Taliban, and that is what we knew Afghanistan for. We didn't hear much about the 1979 war because it didn't involve oil, and although the US were supporting the Muhajideen, troops were not sent there en masse. Theoretically, what was happening at that time had little bearing on our lives, so it wasn't widely reported. Afghanistan has essentially been at war since then. This book doesn't deal with the fighting or the politics, but rather the lives of the people affected by it.

If I had to give this book marks out of five, it would get a six. I absolutely loved it. For someone whose living room is filled with half-finished books, to finish this book within three days is something that shocked me. And now I have that feeling you get when you finish an astoundingly epic book, and you know what whatever you pick up next is unlikely to fill that gap.

I've not read Hosseini's other books, but I'm currently wondering if they're in stock at my local library.

Disclaimer: I was provided with a free copy of this book in exchange for a review, but that was not dependent on my writing a favourable review. All words and opinions are my own.

MamaMummyMum


We're going on an adventure

Sunday 11 May 2014

#MySundayPhoto 2014-05-11


I absolutely love this photo; I'm considering having it printed and put on the wall.

Whenever I cook, S comes and sits on the work surface next to me. She usually wants to play with water or eat snacks rather than pay attention to what I'm doing. 

Last week I cooked a roast dinner for my family - and S came to watch. We had a pretty fun time!


OneDad3Girls

Saturday 10 May 2014

Weekend Blog Hop 2014-05-10

Weekend Blog Hop

Time for the Weekend Blog Hop, again! This week has gone so quickly!
For those who don't know, I co-host this blog hop with Laura at My Life As A Mummy.

I am going to be doing a Single Parent Roundup on Brit Mums on the fourth Sunday in every month. If you're a single parent blogger, and you'd like one of your posts to be included, please contact me ASAP!

I get to choose the blogger show case this week, and I've chosen...*drum roll*


I stumbled across this blog randomly this week, and found that I was slightly addicted to it. My favourite recent post is this one about occupying toddlers - because, well, I have a toddler - and she needs to be occupied! 
Phili home schools her son, and also has two daughters; I love the posts she's done for #MorrisonsMum; there are loads of yummy recipes!


My Life As A Mummy

And so... on with the blog hop!

As always, we'd love it if you would:
Follow Laura on Bloglovin
Follow me on Bloglovin
Visit and leave a comment on at least the two entries ahead of you in the blog linky.


Link your blog's Facebook page here:





And add your blog here:



Have a fabulous week!

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