A Simple Guide to Internet Dating Profiles

As some of you may know, this year I have been dipping my toe into the waters of dating. It has been fun; I have met some lovely people. I've also skimmed over a lot of dodgy-looking profiles without a second glance.

Here is what I have learned about composing your dating profile:

• Think carefully about your profile picture. A lot of people will take one look at your main photo, and make a snap decision as to whether they want to bother looking at your profile. Not very PC or charitable, but nature.

• If your photo shows you drinking/in a nightclub, people will assume that's how you spend most of your time. Fine if you do; not so great if that photo was taken on the one occasion you left the house last year.

• Men: I don't care if you caught a fantastic fish. I don't know any ladies who are on dating sites looking for men who are able to catch great big fish. It is not on anyone's list of must-haves when looking for a potential suitor. Unless you go to a really, really specific site.

• It sounds simple, but you'd be surprised by how many people add a photo and don't even bother to turn it the right way up. Likelihood is, when faced with 50 photos to look at, I'm not going to make much effort to focus on the one that also requires turning my head to one side.

• Don't use a photo of you alongside someone else as your profile picture; it's just confusing. A photo of you with your arm around someone of the opposite sex is just ridiculous. 

• If your photo shows you half naked, that says something about you. To me, it mostly says "look at me, I really love how my body looks and you should too!" Sometimes it also says "twat" in big, shiny letters. But usually only when there's a bottle or a mad "shouty" expression accompanying the half nakedness.

• Don't put in your profile that you don't smoke and rarely drink... and then upload several profile pictures of you smoking and drinking. You will only attract people who are too stupid to put the two together.

• Be positive! You wouldn't believe the number of profiles I've come across that include such cracking lines as "you probably won't be interested" or "I doubt I'm what you're looking for." You guess right, buddy! Nobody wants to date Eeyore; if you really are that miserable, perhaps you should look at resolving that issue before looking for a partner.

• Be honest about what you are looking for! I know plenty of people, male and female, who have used dating sites purely for casual hook-ups. If that's what you're after, say so!

• Don't be creepy! I met one guy online who, as soon as he knew my real name, Googled me and began to stalk my online profiles: Facebook, Twitter, this blog, you name it (for all I know, he still is). By all means, Google a person - but don't be nosey, don't be creepy, and don't say things like "did you hurt yourself when you fell over last Thursday?" That is not classed as being attentive; it's classed as being stalky.

• Remember that your online dating profile is not a way of tricking people into going out with you; it's a way of showing them who you are. There's nothing wrong with putting a positive spin on things, but don't write something that will leave people disappointed when they meet you; it's a waste of both of your time.

• Finally, get someone else to read it through before you send it live! You might think it's fabulous; a fresh pair of eyes might wonder who you're describing, or why you've never heard of punctuation.

So there's my list.

Do you have anything to add? 

I'd love to hear about your experience of internet dating!

Learning to Manage my Time

I am a single mother.

I work part time.

On one of my days off, I work in a second job that also takes up a fair amount of time in the evenings.

I am studying for a degree through Open University.

I'm learning to crochet so that I can make S a minion hat for Christmas. 

I maintain this, and another blog.

I spend an offensive amount of time on social media.

Every now and then, I consider the prospect of housework.

Just lately, it's become increasingly clear to me that if I wish to continue with all the frivolities I do outside of motherhood, I'm going to need to be more organised with my time.

I am a champion procrastinator. If there was an award for time wasting, that baby would be mine - but I would put off going to pick it up for a few weeks. Many's the evening I've come downstairs after putting S to bed, just sat down quickly "to check my emails" - and ended up hurriedly doing the washing up at 9pm.

On Saturday morning I was talking to a friend on the phone, and she said, 

you strike me as the sort of person who needs a list each morning in order to achieve what needs to be done...

She was right, and I decided I should probably start doing that. I started right then:

S ended up having a three-hour nap on Saturday morning, and I managed to sort all my washing, and clear everything off the green sofa. I was on a roll! I started clearing other over-crowded surfaces in my living room, and made a to-do list for Sunday:

I was a little more optimistic with this list but I told myself there would be no sitting about faffing on Facebook until I'd completed my list. 

Guess what? S and I went for a long walk in the morning, and spent the afternoon wandering around the Cathedral with my sisters. But by 7pm I had ticked off everything on the list. Well, sort of. What I actually did was clear the dining table and decide to move it across the room to swap places with a different table, throw a load of stuff out, clean the floor under both tables, rearrange a lot of the larger items of S's toys... as well as everything else on the list. 

It turns out, I'm approximately 100% more productive when I actually physically write a list of what I need to do. 

And I feel happier, more relaxed and more... like I've done something with my day - instead of sitting here, surrounded by crap and thinking "tomorrow I really should get on and do this... and this, and this and that..."

From now on, I will be making lists. Lots and lots of lists.

What do you do in order to maintain productivity? How do you keep on top of everything you're aiming to get done by the end of the day? Do you have any clever tips you'd like to pass on?

Blog Every Day in August: Things You Should Know About Me

I am taking part in Yummy Mummy in Training's Blog Every Day in August challenge.
Day 19 is Things You Should Know About Me.

Here's a list:

• I hate Coldplay. In a way I cannot describe, I just detest them. So much so, that when one of their songs came on while I was in labour, I stopped my contractions. I point blank refused to allow their drivel to be the first thing my child heard (S was born about 10 minutes later, to John Parr's St Elmo's Fire)

• I hate to be called Hun or Hunny or other stupid, condescending pet names. I am 32 years old and managing perfectly well in my life, thank you. Do not talk down to me. I have plenty of other nick names you can choose from: Vicky, Bubbles, Plum, Stix. Not bloody Hun.

• I am terminally messy. There are no two ways about it; my house is perpetually a tip. Every now and then I have a massive tidy up, clear out all the crap and vow everything will stay this way forever. It lasts a maximum of two days. Since I went back to work, this has got a lot worse - there's just not enough time for tidying when I could be playing with S or sleeping!

• I love my blog. Love love love it. I love to write in general, and I love the fact I now have a blog on my local paper's website; but this blog is my second baby, and I love it.

• I have five brothers and sisters, but only three of them talk to me. The best three, obviously. In a normal family, the reasons the other two don't speak would never have occurred. But my family is far from normal.

I'd better leave it there before I get a bit TMI. What are the things we should know about you?

How to Write a Great About Page for Your Blog

The "About Me" page is arguably the most important one on your blog. If you look at your stats, you'll see that it actually gets quite a lot of traffic; people want to know about you and who you are. This post is one of a series I have written about blogging tips. The full series can be found here

If you want to work with brands or PRs, it's especially important to have a good "About Me" page, as this is the first place they will look to see whether they want to work with you.

This is the photo from my About page.

Here are a few tips for constructing a good "About Me" page.

• First things first: there is no point whatsoever in writing yourself a lovely About page, publishing it, and then just never looking at it again. You need to regularly review your page and check whether all the information in it is still correct and relevant. If your About page says you're pregnant, but your child is clearly now a toddler, people will be confused as to what's going on.

• Have a look at the About pages of other blogs in your area. See what information they include, but also read the page and see what you think of it. Is it easy to follow? Does it tell you what you want to know about the person? Read as many different About pages as possible to help you decide what you want to include in yours.

• Tell the reader who you are, but also who the main people are in your blog. Unless you want to introduce each member of your family at the beginning of east post, put them in your About page. That way newcomers who aren't familiar with your blog will be able to figure out who you're talking about, how old they are, what position they have in your life. Share as much information as you are comfortable with the reader knowing up-front. 

• This sounds silly, but tell them what your blog is about. What do you write about? Is it just family life, or do you also blog about politics/feminism/mental health/disability/illnesses? Tell people what they can expect from reading your blog.

• If you want people to contact you, whether that be potential guest posters, PRs or companies, tell them how to do that. Provide your email address and state exactly what you will and will not consider.

What do you think? Do you disagree with any of my tips? Do you have any to add? What do you think makes a great About page on a blog? 

Shiny New Washing Machines!

My washing machine is on its last legs. Three of them, to be precise. The fourth one keeps falling off when it goes on a spin cycle. I can't let S in the kitchen when it's running, in case it falls on her.

So I've been looking at new washing machines. And imagining I'll ever have the funds for one of these new, fandangly fancy ones.

Turns out these days, the choice isn't just over what colour it is, or which brand you have. Each brand has a hundred different options. Here's the low-down of what I've learned so far:

• All of these clever new innovations mean the new washing machines are greener. They use less of your water and electricity; good for your wallet and your carbon footprint!
• They don't just go round and round and round these days; oh, no. You can get washing machines with all sorts of cycles that go back and forth so that your clothes don't get all tangled up, or have a gentle swishing motion for your really delicate clothes.
• For those with large families (or small, really messy ones), you can get washing machines with massive drums for large loads. Some take up to 10kg of mucky, food-encrusted clothing.
• They're rated A+ to E based on their efficiency with water, energy efficiency and spin efficiency.
• Gone are the days of  "oh, I can't wear that tomorrow; it needs to be washed." These new washing machines have cycles as quick as 20 minutes, and the clever steam ones can even spit your clothes out all steamed, so they don't need to be ironed! Handy for those of us who are *ahem* a little less organised about their work wardrobe.
• If you really need that shirt clean for the morning, but you don't have a full load, many of them do half-load cycles.
• You can get washing machines now that have a "steam" function - so your clothes come out of the washing machine pretty much already ironed. For someone who is basically allergic to ironing, this is great news!
• That clever steam technology can apparently also remove 90% of the usual household allergens - so if you or your kids have allergies, that could be handy.
• Turns out they're not so ridiculously expensive that I could never afford one. I'll have to save for a while though.

Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post, and I received some compensation for writing it.

Blogging Tips: Successful Blogging & SEO

This is part of a series of blogging tips designed to help you write fantastic posts and increase your blog traffic. Here are some more tips you may find useful, and some notes on SEO as well:

• Encourage interaction. Don't just talk at people, ask them what they think. Encourage debate on the subject across the social media you use. It's fine to disagree with people, so long as you do it politely, and don't make it personal.

• Make commenting on your blog easy. Many sites now offer Captcha or similar to avoid spam bots leaving loads of comments on your blog. They're great for stopping spam, but also great for stopping actual comments. A while back someone politely told me that he had given up trying to comment on my blog because they'd taken a couple of attempts at the Captcha and still couldn't get past it. When I stopped and though about it, I realised that yes, actually I often give up on posting my comment if there's a Captcha on there. I removed that option on my blog, and now I just moderate the comments; I get a lot more comments now!

• Try to be consistent with your posting. If you only post once a week that's fine, but make sure you do post once a week, and at a predictable time. If your regular readers are coming back every Tuesday to read your new post, and then one week you don't post until Thursday, you might lose some readers who assume you've abandoned your blog, or just can't be bothered to keep checking back.

• Join in linky's. These are a great way to get new readers, and also to find new blogs to follow. They often come with a set of rules though, about following the host, the post you can link up, leaving comments etc.

• Run a linky. This can be a great way to get new readers and regular blog traffic - but they also come with their problems. As the host of a linky, it's generally considered common courtesy that you visit every blog that has linked up. That's fine if your linky only attracts 10 or 20 blogs (but then, is it achieving what you had hoped it would?) but if it becomes really successful, and you're getting hundreds of people linking up each time, it can become a major drain on your time to visit and comment on them all.

• Write guest posts for other blogs, and have other bloggers guest post on yours. This is a great way to get both blogs a new audience, as people cross over to see a piece by someone whose work they normally read. Make sure though, that any guest posts you have on your blog are relevant to its usual content, and that you are guest posting on blogs that are similar to yours.

• Promote your posts! The world is not sitting at their computer, checking your blog every 5 minutes to see if you've added any new pearls of wisdom. You need to get out there and shout about it! Use whichever social media you prefer, or all of them. I've already written posts about how to use Facebook and Twitter to promote your posts, but consider also using Google+, Linkedin and Pinterest as well. Also sites like Love All Blogs and Scooptub can prove to be really useful.

A word on SEO:

I'm not a big fan of SEO, mainly because I'm lazy, and it feels a bit... cynical. That said, there are some simple things you can do to increase the likelihood of your post showing up in search engines:

• I really think SEO won't work on 90% of my blog posts, because I write about personal interest stuff. Nobody is likely to be Googling what my daughter ate for dinner today, so there's no point in my wasting my time looking at SEO for those posts. Choose which posts you use SEO for!

• Choose your keyword, for example you might be writing a post about childbirth or pregnancy. This is the word you want to be picked up by search engines, the main topic of your post.

• Use Google Adwords to search that word, and see if perhaps there's a similar word that might be a better choice (ie, it has more searches associated with it).

• Once you have chosen your keyword, you want to include it as many times as possible in your post: the title, the URL, the opening paragraph, the closing paragraph, any sub-headings you use in the post, the body of the text, the alt tags of the images in the post.

• In Google Adwords, use the drop-down arrow next to your word, and select "Google Insights for search." This will open a new window showing all sorts of wonderful information, including "related terms." Try to include 4-6 of these related terms in your blog post, throughout the body of the text. Don't do this though, if the related searches would not fit comfortably into your piece; otherwise it just looks clunky and it's obvious you've only added them for SEO purposes.

• Include links to related articles - not necessarily on your blog, but across the web. Link to where you got your information from, or other sites that are useful for this sort of thing. This creates "authority" in the eyes of search engines.

So there you have it: some (hopefully) useful tips for blogging, and some more tips for using SEO on your blog. Please do let me know what you think; are these tips useful? Do you disagree with an of them, or do you have anything to add? If you've used something I've recommended and found it useful, or complete rubbish, please do let me know. And if you've enjoyed this post, please do share it with your friends using the buttons below. Thanks for reading!

How has Motherhood Changed Me?

Photo by Chris Meany Photography

Just lately, with Katie Hill's #BodyLove campaign on Twitter, I've been thinking about how becoming a mum has changed me. Here's a list. I love lists!

• Until I was 30, I hated my body. I always considered myself to be too fat, too wobbly, too ugly, "don't take my photo from that angle, you'll show my chins!" At one point, I was going to the gym 8 or 9 times a week. I was quite fit. I ran a half marathon and was lifting heavier weights than most of the boys in the gym at 6:30am. But I still had no body confidence. Now my body has produced a baby, I'm much more relaxed about everything. Yes, I've got stretch marks, yes my thighs wobble and I have bingo wings, yes my boobs are a bit saggy. But look at what I made! Also, to experience my body a few days post-birth, and then find that actually, it's gone back to "normal" fairly quickly, was pleasantly surprising. 

• Before, even though I lifted heavy weights and ran in races and all the rest of it, I had no mental strength. I once ran a gruelling 10 mile race around the hilly outskirts of Salisbury by staying behind the man in front of me, and basically using his mental strength to get my through. Experiencing a 10 and a half hour labour has made me realise that actually, my body's capable of a lot more than I ever thought. I tend to think to myself  "come on, you've been through childbirth; this is piss easy in comparison!"

• I am less tolerant of a lot of things these days. I won't settle for a man treating me like crap, I won't put up with people letting me down, I won't have people smoke or drink near my child. Before, I used to put up with all these things and more, biting my tongue and silently seething.

• On the other hand, I'm more  tolerant of other things. People who walk too slowly down the pavement, children asking awkward questions or just generally being precocious, screaming babies in Sainsbury's. I used to tut and think, "Gawd, control your kid!" but now I just smile and think how lucky I am it's not me! People apologise for being in the way and I tell them not to worry about it. Life is too short!

• I have more fun these days. I'm not afraid to go outside and splash in puddles, or spend half an hour pulling faces at S as I push her on the swing. I push her along in the buggy, happily chattering away to her and making silly noises (the latest favourite is a pretend sneeze) and I don't care what you think of me. Stare all you want; I'm the one with a smile on my face!

• These days, I am much more aware of my mental health, and its precarious stability. Before, it didn't matter if I had a bad couple of weeks, drank too much, didn't go into work, didn't wash up. Now I need to take steps at the first sign of trouble, to stop anything nasty from creeping in. I can't afford to be reckless with myself, now that I have someone else who relies on me for food and cuddles.

• I'm a lot more careful crossing roads. I'll stand at a crossing, press the button, and wait for the little green man, while those around me will make a run for it in front of a reasonably slow car. My child is too precious for me to risk her life, and since she relies on me, I can't afford to risk getting myself run over.

• I'm still the world's messiest person, but that mess is confined to "my" side of the living room. The play mats are kept clean, S's toys are tidied and put away as often as possible. Meanwhile, the rubble next to me on the sofa has recently reached epic proportions, and I'm wondering whether I can get away with just chucking it all in a black bag and starting again.

What about you? Has becoming a parent changed you in ways you didn't expect?

A Script for Parenting

There are certain phrases I hear myself saying to S over and over (and over) again... Here are some of them:

• Ahh, cuddles for Mummy! What a lucky Mummy I am!

• Oooooh, you're so gorgeous, I could put you in a pie and eat you!

• Please put your legs down! (when she's in the buggy)

• Not Mummy's glasses please, I need those!

• Where's S? Where's my S? Where's she gone? There she is! Peekaboo!

• Where's Mummy? Where's Mummy gone? Where is she? Here she is! Peekaboo!

• C'mere and let me wipe that nose!

• Uh-uh, you know the rules: when we're outside the hat stays on your head please!

• Please stop throwing your food on the floor just so you can practice saying "uh-oh!"

• Where's Ted gone? Can you go and find Ted? Where is he?

• Awwww my little pickle, Mummy loves you SO much!

I say most of these about 50 times every day, mostly without even really thinking about it.

Do you have a set script for parenting? What are the things you repeat over and over again?

Cloth Nappies - the Pros and the Cons, and Some Tips

When S was still fairly small, I commented on Facebook that I was thinking about using cloth nappies instead of disposables. A friend very kindly brought me over her entire set of Little Lambs, including inserts, covers, paper liners and buckets. (I really do have some effing awesome friends, don't I!)

S at 4 months, loving her cloth nappy!

The nappies we used came in two different sizes, and we started with the smallest. I found myself wishing I'd used them from day 1 with S; because she was so small when she was born, even the micro nappies had been a bit big on her. The cloth nappies we had were smaller though, and because of the velcro fastening, could be used across a wide range of sizes.

The PROS of using washable nappies:

• Cloth nappies these days are nothing like they were when we were babies. My mum was expecting it to be a piece of terry cloth and a safety pin, but they're actually formed in the shape of a regular nappy, and fasten with either snaps or velcro - so a million times easier to use than anything our parents had to fart about learning to fold.

• They look nicer than disposables: the ones we use are fluffy and white, and the covers are plain white. Better than advertising some brand, or having some stupid mass-produced picture on baby's bum! You can also get all sorts of different colours and patterns for the covers; some of them are really funky!

• Sometimes, yes, they do get poo stains on them - but sunlight really does bleach those out. You just put the nappy in the kitchen window for a couple of days, and hey presto, the stain is gone.

• One of the main reasons people give for not wanting to use cloth nappies is dealing with the poo situation.When your baby is very small and being fed milk, yes, their poo is practically liquid and it can be a bit messy to clean up. But realistically, cleaning up poo is cleaning up poo, isn't it. You take the nappy off and put it in the bucket, and then you chuck it in the washing machine, wash your hands, and carry on with your day. 

• When your child is on solids, dealing with a poo in a nappy is easier than with a disposable. You just tip the poo and the liner straight into the toilet, and flush the smell away - rather than putting it into one of those artificially scented bags and having it hang about the house.

• The absolute best point of  cloth nappies is that they have an elasticated waist, whereas disposables... don't. So when your beloved baby has one of those massive, outfit-ruining, up-the-back-and-out-the-sides poonamis, a cloth nappy will keep it all inside. S once went 18 days without a poo, and when she eventually went, none of it escaped the nappy. Show me a disposable that can do that!

• Obviously, there is the "green" aspect of using cloth nappies. Opinions are divided on this though; a lot of people think the carbon footprint you save on disposables is just used up in washing machine electricity and water usage.

• Several people have told me that wearing cloth nappies can make a child easier to potty train. Disposables sell themselves on the fact they wick all moisture away from baby's skin, so they never feel wet. The argument goes that this means the child never knows when they've done a wee, so they take longer to learn when to use the potty. With cloth nappies, they feel wet as soon as they've done a wee. I can't vouch for this personally though, as I've not tried it with S yet.

• Depending on who you speak to, cloth nappies will either make your child more or less likely to get a nappy rash. I can safely say, though, that S has only ever had one, very small case of nappy rash. And she's 15 months old.

• Because they're bulky, there's more padding around baby's bum when they're learning to walk (and falling on their bum every five minutes).

Some CONS of cloth nappies:

• Whilst it's perfectly possible to cope with washable nappies without a tumble dryer, and you can get quick-drying ones as well these days, a tumble dryer certainly does help. Unless you have loads of spare nappies, so that getting the wet ones dry isn't so urgent, you're reliant upon consistently good weather in order to line-dry, or a house with nappies on every radiator for large portions of time. Personally, I don't have the facility to dry my clothes outside, so I have a dryer any way. And I'm lucky in that the set I was given contained loads of nappies, so even when I got a bit lazy with the washing, I never ran out.

• They take up a lot more space around your changing mat than a bag of disposables does.

• Where you can just chuck a stinky disposable nappy straight in the bin, and then take the bin outside, with washables you are left waiting until you have a full load to do. One of S's favourite tricks has always been to wait until I've just given up and done a load of nappies, and then do a poo.

• Because babies feel wet as soon as they've done a wee, they need to be changed straight away - otherwise they're liable to get nappy rash (and a bit grumpy). This can be a bit difficult when you're out and about.

• They can be a bit of a nightmare to change when you're out. When you change a disposable while you're out, you can just chuck it in the bin and go about your day. With a washable, you have to put the wet/smelly nappy in your changing bag and carry it home with you.

• Because they're so bulky, it can mean trousers or tights become too small sooner. When S is wearing cloth nappies, I have to crack out the 18-24 month clothes, but if she's in disposables she's often still in 9-12 month shorts/trousers. (she's still quite small for her age, and is actually still getting about in a pair of 3-6 month shorts some days!)

Some tips for using cloth nappies:

• They take up more space than disposables, so find yourself a spare cupboard or drawer for your clean ones.

• Invest in a couple of nappy meshes. These are mesh bags that you use to line your bucket. When the bucket's full, you just pull the mesh out and chuck it in the washing machine. No big deal!

• Invest in a roll of paper liners. If not when baby is really small (when the paper liners are miles too big) then at least once they are on solids. That way, when baby does a poo, you can just take the liner out and flush it down the loo.

• Buy reusable nappy liners. That way, if you've used a liner in a nappy and there's no poo to remove with it, you can just leave it in the nappy and put it through the wash to reuse. You can reuse liners 2 or 3 times before they're beyond saving.

• If you are using nappies with velcro fasteners, make sure you stick the fasteners together before you put the dirty nappy in your bucket. Otherwise they stick to each other, and to the nappy mesh, and when they come out of the washing machine/tumble dryer you spend half an hour untangling them.

• When you're washing them, put them on a high setting. You don't need to use too much soap, and never use fabric softener. The softener soaks into the fabric and makes the nappies a lot less absorbent. Instead, use white vinegar; it's a really great substitute for fabric softener with anything that needs to be absorbent (as mentioned in my post about it, here).

• With disposables, you chuck your dirty baby wipe into the nappy, and chuck the whole bundle. With cloth nappies, there's nowhere to chuck the baby wipes. I used to keep a plastic nappy bag tied to the cupboard door to put them in each day

Do you have any of your own pros, cons or tips to add to these lists about cloth nappies? Have you had a great, or awful experience with washable nappies? Please do share in the comments!

Ways to Promote your Blog Using Facebook

It's a great idea to set up a Facebook page for your blog. Facebook is the original social network, and still has the largest number of active users. Having a page for your blog allows you to promote the blog on Facebook, without spamming up the newsfeeds of all your regular Facebook friends for whom your blog might not be relevant. This post follows on from this one about using Twitter to promote your blog, and this one about how to write a good blog post.

• Use Facebook to post links to your blog, but not just that. Post pictures, share content from other pages, links to relevant articles or websites. 

• Think about what makes you click "like" on a Facebook page. You want more than just your personal friends to follow your Facebook page, so try to make it appealing. Fill in the "about" section as thoroughly as possible, so that people know what they're signing up to.

• Be polite! If someone comments on your Facebook page, or sends you a private message, always try to respond. Always thank anyone who shares your content. People will not continue to interact with someone who does not respond to them.

• It's not a clever idea to have your Twitter update your Facebook page (I often tweet several times an hour, especially if attending a Twitter party, and your friends will get sick of it). You can, instead, have your blog Facebook page update your Twitter.

• In the top right-hand corner of the Facebook screen, there's a star symbol. By clicking on this image, you can select to "use Facebook as..." your blog page, rather than your personal account. Use this mode to "like" pages with similar subject matter to yours. Comment on posts by these pages using your blog page, rather than your personal account. By interacting with people using your blog page, you can encourage people to take a look at your page.

• If someone else posts a link or status that is relevant to a blog post you have written, comment with a link, using your Facebook page rather than your personal account. You need to be careful about doing this - don't do it too often on the same pages, and don't post a link without a comment to go with it. That's just rude.

• Design a cover photo that shows what your blog is about. Consider having it in the same colours or using the same photos as on your blog, so as to keep things consistent.

• Think about who you are trying to attract to your blog, and aim your Facebook posts at that person. Save your other witty observations for your personal Facebook account.

• Depending on the type of images you post, consider setting your Instagram settings to post your pictures to your blog Facebook page rather than your personal one.

• Try to give your readers value for money. If everything you post on Facebook is exactly the same as your Twitter feed, there's no point in their following you on both. Post photos etc on Facebook that aren't on Twitter, and vice versa.

• When you post photos on your blog, consider posting that photo on Facebook later on, with a link to the post in the title. This will eventually give you a large photo album of (hopefully) good photos that people may want to look at, with links back to your blog.

• This one sounds a bit silly, but if you "like" a post on your blog page, from your personal page, your personal friends will see it. They'll be more likely, then, to come and look at your blog page to see what it is you've been liking! 

• It's also possible to link Klout to your blog Facebook page, rather than your personal one. This means Klout will be judging you based on your interactions on the blog, not personal interactions.

• This post by Joanne Dewberry has some very useful tips for using Facebook to promote your blog/business.

And of course, now that you've read this, I really think you should go and "like" my fan page on Facebook!

If you decide to try any of these tips, do come back and let me know how you get on.

Have you seen your blog traffic increase since setting up a Facebook page? Have you figured out a clever way to get more "likes" on your Facebook page? Have you written a similar post on your blog about using Facebook to promote your blog? Let me know in the comments!

Wonder Weeks

The last few weeks, S hasn't been sleeping so well. She's been a bit grumpy. 

She'd been teething for months, but that didn't seem to be bothering her - rather, she was just fed up. 

She whined a lot. Nothing pleased her. 

After two months of sleeping through from 6pm to 6am, she started waking at 5:30, then 5, then 4am. She stopped going to sleep at 6pm too. Some evening she would still be awake at 9pm. Her naps became unpredictable, and some days nonexistent.

This all coincided with her first couple of months at nursery. I don't mind admitting that on the days we spent together, I was often left wondering, how the hell did I used to fill our days? How did I cope with this?

Using my purse as a phone.

This weekend, the whining grumpiness stopped. She still wasn't able to sleep too well, thanks to the heat and noisy neighbourhood, but she was a lot happier.

• On Friday evening, she suddenly started stacking her blocks up. When she managed four in a row, she stopped and gave herself a clap.
• She's started saying "uh-oh" whenever she drops something
• She's using anything and everything as a phone, saying "hiyaaaa... buh-bye...." over and over again
• She's now able to feed herself her tea, without most of it being lost. She's getting better and better at this skill she's seemingly learned over night.
• In the bath, she crouches down behind the side of the bath and plays peekaboo with me. She understands that once I've washed her hair, it's time to get out, and even holds her arms up to be lifted out.
• She's walking everywhere, all the time, at every available opportunity. If we're at home for more than an hour, she's often found walking back and forth between the front door and the far end of the living room, chattering to her teddy as she goes.
• She's suddenly interested in playing with her Duplo, and even tries to put pieces together. Previously the Duplo was useful only as a source of noise.
• She's started trying to put clothes on herself. This usually means pjyama bottoms worn as a hat or scarf, but still; she's trying!
• She cuddles her teddies now. She takes Tigger to bed with her, and gives him a big cuddle. In the day time, she often picks up Ted and gives him a squeeze.
• She dances in time with music. Any music; all music.
• Last night she clapped Andy Murray on TV every time the crowd at Wimbledon clapped.
• She opens her book of Orange, Pear, Apple, Bear, points to the bear and says, Bear!

But the cutest part? Yesterday, we bumped into a friend in the park. We walked a lap of the park together, and then went our separate ways. As we were saying our goodbyes, S blew her a kiss. She's never done that before or since, despite both of our trying to convince her to do an encore. 

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Ways to Increase Your Blog Traffic With Twitter

Here are some ways you can promote your blog using Twitter.

Twitter is an amazing way of using social media to increase interest in your blog and widen your audience.

This post is one of a series I am writing about blogging tips. There is also one about How to write an amazing blog post, and one about how to promote your blog using Facebook.

• Twitter is your best friend when it comes to promoting your blog. Most of my blog traffic these days comes from Twitter.

• Don't only tweet links to your blog - nobody wants to read or interact with that. Try to tweet interesting, useful content, to ask questions and to engage with others.

• Follow other people who post about similar things. You can find them by searching for key words. For example, my blog is about being a single mother, so I searched "single mother" and found people to follow.

• Follow Brit Mums, Tots100, Bloggers Bunch and any other accounts which are relevant to the content of your blog. You're not following them just to get them to RT (re-tweet) your stuff to their followers; you want to interact with them, and read the posts they tweet; a great way of meeting like-minded people.

• Follow, follow, follow; interact, interact, interact. On Twitter, you can follow anyone whose account isn't private, and you can reply to their tweets. It doesn't matter if you don't know them, or you've never spoken to them before. If they tweet a question about something, and you have information/advice/an opinion that is relevant, then respond. This is the beauty of Twitter.

• Use hashtags. Not just random ones like #IDontKnowWhyIBother or something, but key words that are relevant to what you're posting. Just recently I wrote a post about Clare's Law, and used hashtags such as #domesticabuse and #dv in my tweets. This meant that anyone with an interest in those topics would be more likely to see my post. That week, my blog got twice as many hits as the rest of the month.

• Don't be afraid to tweet your links to relevant people or organisations - but only if it's relevant! With my Clare's Law post, I sent it to domestic violence charities and asked them to RT it if they felt it was useful. 

• If you don't have the time or inclination to be on Twitter all day (apparently those people do exist), you can set up scheduled tweets using something like Future Tweets to promote your posts while you're out having a life - or watching box sets. 

• It's all very well following celebrities and seeing their photos of their cats, but don't expect much interaction with them. They get hundreds, perhaps thousands of replies to each tweet they send, so yours is likely to be lost in the crowd. You're better off following people who have similar interests to you, have a blog you read, or you know personally.

• Join in Twitter parties. If you're a parent blogger, there's #pbloggers on a Sunday evening. I live in Salisbury, so I often join in #SalisburyHour on a Wednesday evening. There's also #babyhour, #buybritishbrands and hundreds more. Tots100 and Brit Mums often have their own, one-off Twitter parties. Tots 100 have #WillyNilly on a Friday, where you tweet them any post you've done this week using that hashtag, and they'll RT it to their followers. I also set up #ArchiveDay on a Saturday, where bloggers tweet a link to an old post from their blog with the tag, and then RT others. This can be a great way of getting your content seen by others, but also of finding new blogs to read.

• Don't be afraid to ask your followers to RT your links. Not every single link you post; that's just rude. But every now and then, if you have a link you think might be helpful to a wider audience, ask them. It can't hurt! Do always thank people for RTing your tweets though - be polite!

• Twitter is a great way to get blog traffic, and  great way to boost your Klout score, but don't use it just for that. If you're only using Twitter for those reasons, it will be obvious and people won't want to interact with you. It's much better to use Twitter as a place to meet like-minded people, and post your links there etc as a secondary use.

Do you have any other tips for using Twitter to promote your blog? Are there any on this list that you've used that did or didn't work? Do you prefer to use a different social media to promote your blog? Let me know in the comments!

Feeling Fortnuate

When I first had S, and had to deal with the whole situation surrounding her father, as well as a tiny, jaundiced, premature baby, I don't think I felt particularly lucky.

But just lately, having spoken to many other women about their experiences in pregnancy, childbirth, relationships, childrearing... I realise just how fortunate I really am.

I am definitely the most lucky mummy in the world.

Here is a list to remind me of my good fortune...

• My pregnancy, if you remove the ex from the picture, was actually fairly easy. I had a little hip trouble, but I didn't end up having to leave work early or confined to a wheelchair from it. I didn't have gestational diabetes. S was born before she was big enough to be anything but a pleasure to feel kicking me. I didn't have to endure a hot summer of pregnancy, I didn't get preeclampsia, I had water retention but not too badly. All in all, a relatively trouble free pregnancy.

• Although I was induced, and labour was painful (and ten and a half hours!) I have heard some real horror stories that have made me realise how easy I really had it. I didn't tear, S wasn't distressed, despite being early she was a good weight and healthy. I didn't need to have an emergency C-Section, and was lucky enough to be able to go through the process without drugs or epidural.

• S was born with no suck/swallow response, and was fed formula through a tube for the first few days. I was very lucky to have the help and support of hospital staff, who helped me to begin to breastfeed. They would say it was down to my hard work, but I really didn't put any work in, other than pumping before S's NG tube was removed.

• I have been so lucky with the breastfeeding! No mastitis, no bleeding nipples, no engorgement, no painful breasts, no low supply, no leaky boobs when I went back to work. Whenever S wants milk, it's there. When she doesn't want milk, I'm not in pain.

• Linked to the breastfeeding: S did not poo much before she started solids. For a while, she was only going once a week. At one point she went for 18 days without a poo, during which time she was perfectly happy and content. Apparently this is not unusual; breastmilk is so efficient, there's little waste from it. 18 days was a record for most of the health visitors I spoke to though!

• I was a high risk for post-natal depression. Everyone thought I would end up depressed, including me. I have more than one friend who has struggled with PND; I've seen how utterly horrible it is. I am so fortunate to have never experienced it first hand.

• When S and I first came home, she was still jaundiced, and I had to wake her to feed her. As she got better, she would wake for feeds; but she didn't cry unless there was something wrong. She didn't have colic and has only ever had a very mild nappy rash once or twice. It took me a little while to realise that actually, some babies do just cry a lot. Actually, I have been very lucky that S is just incredibly easy-going, and only cries when there is something wrong. And that something is usually fixable. Being on my own and lacking in confidence, if things had been different, and S had been a screamy baby, I'm not sure I would have coped so well.

• Seriously, I know I'm gorgeous and all, but how the chuffing hell did I manage to produce something that perfect?! She is so much more naturally happy and laid back than I am. And I don't think either of those is a quality the sperm donor possesses. I definitely lucked out where this child is concerned. Even when she cries at 2am, and she snots in my hair and digs her nails into my boob, she's still perfectly adorable. How the hell did I do that?

• Being on my own with S definitely has it down sides. For instance, my work is having its annual summer BBQ this week; it starts at 5pm and is infamous for all the free food and booze... and I can't go because I have nobody who could look after S and put her to bed without tears. BUT I also don't have to compromise with anything I do with her. As I noted in this post the other week, we get up in the morning, decide what to do, and go. When we come home, we have whatever we fancy for lunch, and spend the afternoon doing whatever we please. I don't leave her to cry, she still sleeps in my bed on a regular basis, I still breastfeed her, and I'm careful about what I do and don't say to her. I don't have to worry about someone else coming in here telling me I really should get her out of the habit of sleeping in my bed, or her cot should really be in her room by now, or haven't I given up breastfeeding yet, or telling her she's good or naughty or bad or telling her to say thank you.

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Other posts you may enjoy:

Geeky things about babies and children

Pollyanna ain't got shit on me!

Sling Talk

Sling Talk

Things people have said to me whilst wearing S in the sling:

• That's the best way to travel!

• She looks comfortable!

• He looks comfortable!

• You've got something on you...

• Is there something you want to get off your chest?

• Isn't she heavy like that?

• Nawwwww!

• You're not still carrying her, are you?

• I wish I could go about like that.

• I bet that's difficult isn't it?

• Doesn't your back hurt?

• Don't you have a buggy?

• There's a baby on you.

You get extra points if you come up with something amusing... or at least something I've not heard a million times before!

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If you've enjoyed this post you may also enjoy:
Things NOT to Say to Me

The Steep Learning Curve

S has been at nursery for a month now, and already she's learning things...

• She's learned to eat off a plate/from a bowl without giving in to the urge to turn it over and launch her food across the room.

• She can now turn individual pages in a book, and will sit and read through her books, one page at a time.

• She can now take several steps unaided - has started doing it without me holding my arms out... or even watching her (that she knows of)

• She can, on occasion, take a drink from her cup without immediately spitting it all down her front.

• She will now let an adult wipe her nose, rather than covering her face with her hands and opting instead to wipe the snot on the nearest available leg.

• She points to things. A lot.

• She says "Hi" and "Bye" a lot more than she did before, and waves at every available opportunity.

• When she is eating, she has learned to put her hand to her mouth to push errant bits of food in, rather than just moving her head to try and catch what was trying to escape.

• She has learned to eat all sorts of new and exciting foods she wouldn't have had at home.

• She's learned to go to sleep without me, and sleep for a reasonable amount of time, on a regular basis. In fact, I think she now sleeps better at nursery than at home.

• She says "ta" when you give her something

• She appears to have learned that when I leave her, I'm coming back.

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SPAG without the Bol

I hate to admit it, but I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to spelling, punctuation and grammar.

If you can't tell the difference between "your" and "you're," 

If you post on Facebook that you are "on route" somewhere 

If you constantly use txt spk 

If you don't know that an apostrophe denotes ownership or a missing letter, and think it just goes between a word and the S at the end of it 

If your sentences never feature commas 

If you randomly use colons and semi-colons mid sentence for no apparent reason 

If you don't know the difference between "there," "their" and "they're" 

If you use ie when you mean eg or nb 

If you put Random Capitals at the starts of words that do not require capitals

If you use "too" when you mean "to" and vice versa

If your sentences run over several lines because you've forgotten where the full stop button is 

If you hyphenate words-that-should-not-be-hyphenated 

If you say things like "2am in the morning" or "3pm in the afternoon" 

If you say "seen as" instead of  "seeing as" 

If you write "loose" when you mean "lose"

... you can pretty much guarantee I don't read your Facebook updates/Twitter feeds/blog posts past the second mistake.

And I judge you.

Adventures in the Kissing of Frogs

The ex was by far the worst, but by no means the first. Here is a brief list of some of the other frogs I've kissed...

I must've been drunk to put up with this...

• When I was at college I briefly went out with a boy a couple of years older than me. He went away somewhere for half term, and called me on the Friday to say he was staying longer than expected, so wouldn't see me on Valentine's day, and could I please get up the next morning and call into his work and tell them he was too ill to come in. When he came back he sat down on a bench with me and told me he'd met a girl while he was away, and he thought she really could be "the one" so he felt he had to pursue it.
• There was the coke head who spent hours chatting me up while I worked in a pub, and would often tell his friends "yeah I'll catch you up in a minute" before leaving with me in the opposite direction - surefire way to ensure the friends hate the girlfriend. I later found out (from his supposed best friend) that the whole time he was with me, he was chasing after his ex. He told me afterwards that he had always been in love with her - as if this was supposed to make me feel better about it.
• The coke head's friend, who saw his chance when we split. He asked me out... I don't think we ever went on a date, I told him I wasn't interested. For the next couple of months I would get text messages at all hours of the day and night ranging between "oh please just go out with me I think you're lovely" and "you're such a cold hearted bitch." He drank a lot, and it seems at those times I was at the forefront of his mind. In the end I had to ask his father to make him stop texting me.
• The one my friends called "horse face" because he looked like a horse. Never took me anywhere, never did anything. Dumped me by just plain ignoring me - even though we were the only two people in the room.
• The cute one my housemates were convinced was gay. Had recently split with his short, blonde ex. Clearly didn't fancy being single over Christmas, or grovelling to her. Dumped me in the New Year by saying he didn't have time for a girlfriend... before going back to his ex, and then bringing her into the pub where I worked to show her off.
• The one who, every Tuesday, had "movie night" with a female friend. They would get roaring drunk and watch porn together before falling asleep/passing out in his bed. He couldn't understand why I had a problem with it.
• The one who was married "in name only," they were more like best friends, but they owned a house together and couldn't sell in the current climate. I found out later that he and his wife were very much together, and he had told lies on top of lies, on top of lies. About the most ridiculous things. The most ridiculous was when he told me he'd got food poisoning from a group meal he never attended, and called in sick for work telling them he'd got food poisoning from having gone-off milk on his cereal. Nobody knows what he was really up to. He seemed surprised when I turned up on his doorstep with a bag full of his stuff and told him to get knotted.
• There was one who really hated for me to use the internet at all, especially the blog I'd been maintaining for years before I met him. Went mental at me one Christmas after finding out I'd started a Facebook account. Spent the entire festive period telling me he wasn't sure he could handle it and we might have to split up. I found out later he'd had a Facebook for years.
• Another guy was manager in a hotel, and I would go and stay with him there. He owned a house with his ex, but they couldn't afford to sell it yet; he didn't want to take me home and rub her nose in the fact they'd split up. One day, out shopping, I got a call asking if I'd been sleeping with this guy. I asked why and the voice responded, "he's my fiance." I texted him asking what the hell was going on, and he replied asking me to please just lie to the girl and tell her there had been nothing going on between us.
• One guy I went out with was always either drunk, stoned or both on the weekends. We'd arrange for him to meet me from work at 3pm, but he never showed. Sometimes I would go round to his house, and find him still in bed asleep. He stopped speaking to me just before Christmas, presumably to avoid buying me a present, and then sent me an email mid-January from Leeds, where he had suddenly moved to.
• There was one guy who ran a pub; he used to come over on Friday nights with a bottle of vodka and proceed to get completely smashed, before we'd even left the house to go anywhere. I had to get drunk too. That was usually the one night a week I saw him. I don't even remember why we stopped seeing each other, but he then started seeing a "friend" of mine. I heard that the pub was closed down after a drugs raid.
• Then there was the guy who had split with his girlfriend a few months ago and moved in with his mother - but was going back to the house he owned with the ex on weekends, to fix it up ready to sell. He dumped me right before Christmas because he'd decided, despite telling me a million times that it could never happen, to go back to the ex and try again.
• A guy I had worked with a few years previously found me on Facebook and asked me out. I used to catch him checking out his muscles in mirrors, windows, any reflective surface. We went out about three times, and against my better judgement I went to his parents' house for Sunday lunch one weekend. He didn't live around here, but came back to visit at weekends. A couple of weeks later he invited me to his parents' place again. When I told him, I'm sure your family would rather see just you, since they don't see you often, his response was "you're part of the family now!" I ran for the hills. He was very bitter over the terrible way he believed I had treated him. 

Now you all know why I eat so much chocolate.

This post is not an attempt at revenge on those who have wronged me; I think this list says more about me than any of the men involved.

That said, if you recognise yourself in this list, and are offended... well, I'm not sorry; perhaps you should try to be less of a twat.

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Counting my Blessings

As my recent blog posts may have hinted, I’m having a pretty rough time at the moment. Whenever I am awake in the wee small hours, I often find myself getting pretty angry that I’m doing this on my own. This is not what I signed up for. When I got pregnant I was in a relationship. When I gave birth I was in a relationship. I assumed that when my baby was 6 months old and having trouble sleeping, I would still be in that relationship, and would therefore have a bit of help and support in dealing with extreme stress and sleep deprivation. I also assumed that my family would be there to rally round, that I would have a whole hoard of people I could call upon to come and lighten the load, either by helping with housework, or looking after S while I had a break. The reality is that I assumed wrong. And when I’m so tired and so  fed up I can barely see, and I’m walking into door frames and pleading my child to please just go to sleep, I find myself pretty cross about that. Where are all these people who are supposed to rally around a new mum? Aren’t they supposed to be helping me? I’m not meant to feel this alone and isolated.

It’s times like this that I think I just need to take a step backwards and look at the facts, reminding myself why I prefer my current position to any possible alternatives. Count my blessings, as it were.

• I may be the only person having to deal with S’s grumpy moods, but I’m also the only one who gets her regular cuddles, smiles and giggles. All her love is just for me and I don’t have to share.
• As pointed out by numerous friends on numerous occasions, I’m actually doing pretty bloody well on my own. The whole “look how far you’ve come” argument really is valid, as evidenced by the “diary entries from early motherhood” posts I’ve put up lately.
• I know from bitter experience that sadly we really are better off without S’s father – and that even when he was here, he didn’t help out with anything I would find useful at 3am. He bought us a cooker and then he buggered off, and it was the best thing for all concerned.
• Most of my family might not be banging down the door to offer their help, but lots of other people are. My Home Start lady is truly amazing, and I have some of the best friends a girl could wish for, who I know will help if I ask.
• Despite the current blip, and even for fleeting moments during the blip, S is a happy, healthy baby. I’d rather have this situation than one where she is less happy, less healthy, or perhaps in an unsafe situation.
• I might be tired, but other mothers are dealing with much worse, more worrying and stressful situations than just a baby who is not sleeping well.
• From what I’ve been told/reading lately, all babies go through an unsettled stage at 6 months. And at the moment a lot of babies are not sleeping well. There are a lot of sleep-deprived mamas on my Facebook; I’m not alone in this!
• Despite having a hard time, I have not compromised my beliefs with regard to how I want to care for S. I have resisted the urge to dump her in the cot and run away! She has a slightly more frazzled, grumpy mummy, but she still has a mummy who gives her lots of cuddles and kisses.
• As per yesterday’s post, this is a lesson in patience and acceptance. I’m doing my best to learn to just sit with it, take a deep breath and do what needs to be done – a life lesson that will no doubt come in very useful a few more times before S is old enough to fend for herself!
• I’m knackered and fed up, but at least I’m not sleep deprived and having to get up and go to work in the mornings! If S keeps me up all night, I can always share her nap later in the day, or go to bed earlier the next night.
• Because I’m alone in this, I don’t have to make an effort to maintain other relationships while I’m this tired and fed up. I would imagine couples going through this end up having an awful lot of arguments about nothing even vaguely important, because their fuse is too short to do otherwise! If I feel crappy I can cancel my plans with friends or family, and therefore avoid sniping at them over nothing.
• There is nothing in this world more awesome right now, than the look on S’s face when she’s pulled a blanket over her face to play Peekaboo with me. And it’s just for me.

There are a million other blessings I could, and probably should, count, but I’m too tired to think of them. It helps to think of the positives though, and remind myself that right now I’m in exactly the right place, doing the right thing, with the right people around me. Everything happens for a reason, and I’m learning a lot from this experience. You learn a lot more, a lot more quickly, from uncomfortable situations.

I’m trying to keep telling myself this.

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Things I Wish I Could Explain to S...

• You can wear your bib as a cape, but it won’t be quite so effective.

• You can either suck your thumb or my nipple; both doesn’t work so well.

• Hard to believe, but if you just give up and go to sleep for an hour or so, you will feel a lot better when you wake up.

• I’ve not disappeared off the face of the earth, just gone to the toilet. I’ll be back before you know it and you’ll feel silly for crying.

• It is entirely possible for you to grab my breast without clawing it to shreds. Please learn this quickly.

• If you just move your arm a little, you’ll be able to roll out of that position… No, move it the other way… No, not your leg…

• This toy is designed for teething; if you put it in your mouth it might make you feel a little better. The other toy is fluffy, and not really designed for anything mouth-related. Surely you can taste that?

• We share a bed. I can hear that you are awake from your chattering; I just pretend not to in the hope you will go back to sleep. Lifting your legs and banging them back down on the bed like that is just rude!

• If you’re so hungry you’re crying, the answer really is to stop crying and drink milk when it is offered. The crying won’t make you not hungry. Fact.

• I love you very much, but sometimes when I feel something warm and wet running down my arm, and I don’t know whether it’s pee or dribble, it’s hard not to question your motives.

• I know you love to stand and get a good old look around, but I’d really love if you could at least attempt the whole sitting/crawling thing first. You’ll love it once you get the hang of it and can sit yourself up without having to wait for me to figure out why you’re yelling every time!

• If you just cling to me a tiny bit, instead of going all floppy, our walk down the stairs in the morning will feel less precarious.

• I know you don’t enjoy the act of putting your coat on, but once it’s on, you’ll enjoy chewing on it, and you’ll enjoy being in the sling leaving a trail of slobber on my chest even more.

• It would be helpful if you could aim your sick at the muslin I am holding in front of your face, instead of turning your head and depositing it on me/the floor/my leg/the sofa.

• It is really not funny to wait until the minute I put a load of nappies in the washing machine before doing a great big poo. Nobody wants that smell hanging around the house until the next load goes in.

• You have a lot of toys designed specifically for babies of your age. There are fluffy things, chewy things, brightly coloured things, ones that squeak or make other annoying noises. There are blankets and play mats on the floor to keep you comfortable while you play… I can’t help but feel you’re a tiny bit ungrateful when all you want to do is sit on my lap and play with the tag on my cardigan.

• Your toes are cold because you kicked your socks off. I am more than happy to put them back on for you, but if you pull them straight back off again, your toes will stay cold.

• I understand that you want me to play with you, and you don’t like for me to leave you alone on your play mat, but if I don’t eat soon we run the risk of my collapsing on top of you.

• This is the most important one: I love you more than you will ever comprehend, more than chocolate and ice cream and duvets all put together. 

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Five Things We Probably Do Differently

Things They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy

Counting My Blessings